Filthy Englander [profile] jimmahgee called me this morning! From Filthy England! Just to wish me a happy birthday!

He's awesome, and go read his comics.
THINGS THAT TOTALLY SUCK: Tearing your fucking hands open on ancient pipes and fixing one problem only to cause a new, unfixable problem.

THINGS THAT DON'T SUCK AT ALL: Talking to Filthy Englander [info]jimmahgee on the phone for a while. He's the bee's balls.
[profile] jimmahgee presents Kit McCloud, Fox Detective in: Kit McCloud, The Origami Years.


Read the rest or I'll eat your chickens.

And tell your friends about it. IF YOU HAVE ANY.
My brain is in LJ Comic Overload.

Indeed, it has been for weeks, but here's today's haul for you.
Jeez, this entry doesn't even mention two things from [profile] act_i_vate, namely[info]zegas and [profile] man_size's BRAWL,



which hit the shops yesterday, via Image. And I won't be able to tell you to buy PARADE WITH FIREWORKS



by [profile] 66kmph, which is coming out RIGHT NOW from Image.

Seriously, buy these comics.
And now, some online stuff...

_____________________________________________________

MARVEL at [profile] destro_simpson's woman advice!

SPUTTER at the spacemen of [profile] faeta_comics!

BEHOLD, a fantastic [profile] blueshat...thing!

Umm...SPARKLE...at...fuck, it's just [profile] lucidtv...
______________________________________________________

Also, this image from [profile] frivolousphotos made me laugh and think of you, [profile] jimmahgee. And also kinda [personal profile] cleanskies. Because I'm a jerk, I think.



ALSO ALSO:

 
Want to know more?
Quotes for the day:

"...thought I would mention that our hot water heater went out sometime around NASCAR." -- [profile] blahblahkelly

"TARDISes are hard to make. :( " -- [profile] gutter_monkey


Regarding terrible gas and more:

"A few hours later in the tent, a great evil came upon us.  The rumble from the bumble was terrible and cruel, so much so that the [profile] blark's ever alert reptilian brain sensed the imminent peril posed by this toxic smell and awoke the conscious mind, which was then able to comprehend the true horror that this was coming from within.  I suppose this is what Kane must have felt like during Alien when he looked at the infant alien newly emerged from his chest.  He should feel lucky that the results of his chili cheese fries and coffee choose a more traditional route." - [personal profile] funranium 

And today's WTF exchange:


                     ME:    "The shoes I wear most often are: 11 1/2 Converse."
[profile] jimmahgee :       "11 1/2! You're a clown, Mr. Stone. A clown."
                     ME:    "I can also shit balloon animals."
[profile] jimmahgee:        "Now that's a glorious mental image. Just spraying those fuckers all over the children as they cry, all the adults standing there not knowing what to do. On the one hand it's an impressive skill, being able to shit out balloon animals (especially in large quantities), on the other hand there's the fact they're coming out your bum.
        Also the sound. It would be like if you got enough mice together that when they all squeaked there was a kind underlying roar, like a waterfall, behind the shrill sound of their little mice voices."
"If by some chance I end up getting buried and not incinerated then my gravestone should read something like: I Was Very Rich And Have Been Buried With Jewels And Stacks of Fifty Pound Notes, Please Do Not Rob My Grave. Whoever digs me up will be sooooo pissed when they find a mouldy skeleton holding a small tin of one pence coins (total sum: fifty p). Serves them right too, the horrible buggers." - [profile] jimmahgee
benchilada: (Automat)
Gonna be at a lake Saturday through Monday--but it'll probably be raining most of the time--and I think The Interwebs are slow there, but it'll give me time to draw more heroes and write more for you.

I will drown you in content next week.
You'll get a post or two more before I vanish into the ether.

Also, if I can get caught up on Every Damn Thing in my life, I'll get back to people on their e-mails, stories, et cetera. But as you know, I'm so freaking busy and so freaking forgetful that I'm terrible at communication stuff. Maybe without regular internet access, I'll actually catch up on some e-mails and leave the resonses sitting in the outbox until I plug into the tubes again.

Right, extra sorries to [profile] jimmahgee and [profile] spasmsproject.

Yeah. I suck.
Quote of the day ([info]jimmahgee while being interviewed):

INTERVIEWER: Let me guess, you're in it for the money... or just the girls?

Jimmy G: Listen man, I fuck small dogs. The only girls I care for are ones willing to wear a furry suit.
Zounds.

[profile] jimmahgee
rocks my FUCKING BALLS.

Sir Reginald sketches. Certainly not for any project. Or two. Not at all.

Ooooh! And he made icons of them!

reginalds_sketch

reginaldsketch

weereginald


*swoonage*
I want an army of readers.
I want you to tell all of your friends about my stuff.

But I want you to have a reason to.

*sigh*

The perils of doing shit in The Real World(tm): no regular Fuckbrain Comix schedule, no regular Sir Reginald stories, no flash fiction, no...

What's really odd to me is that a number of my Real World(tm) busy things have to do with writing, et al, whether it's more short non-fiction articles for Shonen Jump or two Sekrit Comix Projekts, both of which are so up in the air that I haven't even taken my hopes out of their drawer, let alone gotten them up.

I want so much.

I guess that sounds kinda egotistical, but I don't care because I'm so cool.

b
Off to do some writing/reading/commenting on stuff for [profile] jimmahgee and [profile] spasmsproject that I promised them weeks ago...

Written last night, at Too Early a.m.

PLUGS, PART THE GAWDAMNED FIRST: The Visual Arts Edition.

And no, this isn’t even all the Visual Arts plugs. I’m only one man, and it’s after 2am, and I’m not even drunk. Your plug not here? Simmer, champ, this is an incomplete list

Let’s get this shit going!   

-----------

So, imagine a fat stack of the best cartoonists in the land kicking out krush phat grooves every freaking week. Now stop wasting your time imagining it, ‘cause that shit is right here. 3-2-1[profile] act_i_vate!!!


------------

While a healthy mother was giving birth in a sparkly-clean hospital room, down the street that woman’s cousin was poppin’ out her baby on a dirty motel room bed.

And that kid, they named that kid [profile] de_act_i_vate

 
 -----------

Beautiful girl lives in a beautiful place and takes beautiful pictures.


------------

“I really should add a disclaimer to all of these strips: This comic does not claim to be "funny" nor should the reader expect it to be so. The reader should also not expect the strip to make any "sense" in any traditional way. The image quality, and furthermore the readability level, of each strip is intentional. No refunds, exchanges, or apologies. All question, comments, and concerns can be left under the cast iron bloodhound that sits next to the door.”

So reads the message above one of  [profile] ericfmyers’s deliciously dilapidated comic strips.


-------------

Jeremy "[personal profile] cleanskies" Dennis may or may not have a man’s name, but she’s always a woman to me.

Her LJ is frequently quite funny, and has a higher bug-encounter-per-entry ratio of anybody else’s that I know. Oh, and…

 
------------

[personal profile] riotmod is on drugs. The good kind.

Leave It To Jesus!, a comic of dubious moral value, is hystericalisms. There’s Jesus, a fuzzy Darth Vader, the personification of Robitussin,  two guys named Steve who are NOT Don Johnson and Tom Cruise…well…

 
------------

[profile] jimmahgee says I've already mentioned his stuff enough.
I say Jimmy Gardner needs to shut his cock hole. 

------------

[profile] robotaday : Every day, there is a robot. Do I need to spell this shit out for you?

Usually he makes the robots, sometimes others do.

 
------------

Can’t forget Jamie Dee Galey. Can’t forget Jamie Dee Galey.

Lord knows I've tried to...

 
------------

[profile] tiny_monster and her comics are so cute they practically kick you in the balls/ovaries. Politely.


------------

"Budda loves Jesus. Ohhh...and Jesus loves Buddha."
*throws coin in ocean and waves at it.*
"Now I'll always know where it is."

------------

"So I decided to remix it by changing Fred's dialogue in each strip -- and, as it appears in the hateful right-wing tabloid The Daily Mail, I figured I might as well make his owners sexually deviant repressed middle-class folk (it's their target audience, after all) and Fred himself became the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler, whom the Daily Mail regards as something of a liberal, but it's close enough."

And such is the world of [profile] fredbasset upfucked, mocking the world's most unfunny comic.


------------

[profile] sirive cannot decide if he’s a sick bastard or if he draws the cutest kids in animal suits laying out the rhymes like nobody’s bidness.

 
------------

Now go, my monkeys, as I am cold and sore and weak.

Leave me to the horrible task of going upstairs and sleeping next to beautiful woman.

benjamin
PS - If you're not reading [profile] overcomp, then you're going to hell in like, ten minutes

Go here and tell me which print I want to order.
I'm leaning towards #1 or #5.

Also, you should add the LJ of the artist, [profile] jimmahgee, as he's hysterical, a great artist, and sometimes posts videos of him juggling.
Because he, like every Belgian in the world, is batshit insane.

He's also doing an illustrated Sir Reginald story for me. That's his take in my icon.

benjamin
Give me input and read his f'ing journal
What's that, my monkeys?

You want Topp Sekrit glimpses at Sir Reginald art? By real artists?

Dunno. I mean, if I did, I've have to show the awesome watercolor first "sketch" by [livejournal.com profile] jimmahgee, in preparation for illustrating the story I wrote for him...

Like this:



And then [livejournal.com profile] the_crowchan would get all pissy, because I didn't show four random frames from the first page of the story I gave her to illustrate...



So, obviously, I can't show you a thing.

Sorry.

benjamin
Current Sir Reginald art update:

[livejournal.com profile] jimmahgee = Has had original Sir Reg story written for him to draw
[livejournal.com profile] andyluke = We're coordinating a new story for him to draw
[livejournal.com profile] the_crowchan = Am writing original story for her to draw
[livejournal.com profile] chuckdawg = Has laid claim to illustrating the first Sir Reginald story
[livejournal.com profile] grafunkel = Has laid claim to illustrating
the Man-X story
[livejournal.com profile] mearn4d10 = Is working on "Perspectived Sir Reginald" piece (whatever that means)

EDIT: [livejournal.com profile] scud_o = Will be doing a film version of the Man-X story
[livejournal.com profile] fairyarmadillo = Will be doing a photoplay I will write for her, starring her lovely [livejournal.com profile] locura_insomnio

Anybody else I'm missing?
Who was it that said they wanted to do a Sir Reginald photo project?

Want a piece of the action? Nothing will be rejected, even if your art is as bad as mine.

Let me know if you want to lay claim to a previously written story or if you want an original one. If you want the latter, let me know what format you want it written in, i.e. five pages, one released each day; comic strip format; one big silly splash page; et cetera.

Someday maybe we'll get to anthologize these, in the manner of Project: Superior and the like.

FLY, MONKEYS, FLY!

benjamin
[livejournal.com profile] jimmahgee brings you The Truth(tm)!

Ladies, he made a comic for you.
Guys, GO READ IT AND PAY ATTENTION.

It is here. Go. Go now.

benjamin
*end transmission*
Foot really hurts.
Have not had time to write new Sir Reg story.
Saw preliminary sketches of [livejournal.com profile] jimmahgee's Sir Reginald comic adaptation (that's the Sekrit Projekt) and it's kicking all available ass.

Man, I really loved Hourly Comics Day...

b
Going home to bag/board comics and watch STRAW DOGS
[livejournal.com profile] jimmahgee, I am prepared!

I am adjusting my inbox's AWESOME ACCEPTANCE setting to WHATTHEFUCKMAXIMUMOVERLOAD!

benjamin
PS-That means that if anybody has anything else to send me that's SO FUCKTACULAR THAT LESSER MEN WOULD BURST THEIR EYES IF THEY SAW IT, then send away. NOW!
While waiting here:



so I could eat:



with:



I finally sussed this thing out:



ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY, [livejournal.com profile] jimmahgee?!?!?!

'cause I am. I should have it to you by tomorrow at the latest. :D

b
Off to a meeting
PS - Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] nhyrvana. :*
The weekend was a weekend, full of weekendy things.

Creatively, it was a total bust. What little time I did have for writing or otherwise was pretty much spent with me staring at the computer or notebook and contemplating stabbies in the eyes with Uniball Precise pens.

Sunday morning was lost to a BrainFuckHeadache.
Saturday night was fun as our sixty-something neighbor came over for dinner and wine and shouting about Republicans and their cronies.

Ugh.

I need to get writing done. I need to write a spec piece for Shonen Jump. I need to work on the [livejournal.com profile] jimmahgee thing. I need to get back to [livejournal.com profile] funranium about some stuff. I need to do more pages of "Last Shot."

My creativity fucked off to Paris, Texas, on Friday and is refusing to come back until I install a fucking bidet.

If nothing else, I WILL finish a flash fiction piece today before 5pm.

At least I have lunch with [livejournal.com profile] nhyrvana to look forward to.

And now, a quote from "[livejournal.com profile] juniperesque de Jew":

"I don't know about y'all, but I don't think Jezus died for my sins - though if he died to bring me Cadbury's Creme Eggs, maybe he and I are a'ight."

So, for now, feed me. Give me something. Music, saliva, fiction, words of hate and spite, boozahol, kung-fu. Anything.

Gimme.

b

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