Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

You see, I can't remember the last time I saw my mama on her birthday. She's lived in Florida since the very beginning of the 90's, and while I see her a few times a year, it hasn't been on her birthday since who knows when.

And since my Mama is THE PERSON AWESOME PEOPLE GO TO FOR BEING-AWESOME CONSULTATIONS, as well as being one of the smartest, funniest, and by far kindest people I've ever had the pleasure to know in my entire life, she's had more of an impact on who I am today than anybody else in the world. As such, I like to do something for her on her birthday. She hates getting gifts, though, so I've been doing this instead, ever since I had to telnet into my uiuc.edu account using a 14.4 modem, where I would then read my e-mail using Pine.

This year, me and my dame Nadja "fairyarmadillo" Robot will be going down to visit her and my stepfather and whatever other family members are there for Thanksgiving/my birthday, but that's a few months away, so...

PEOPLES OF THE UNIVERSE, PLEASE ATTEND CAREFULLY, AS THE MESSAGE THAT FOLLOWS IS VITAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF YOU ALL:

Her e-mail is n8annet@hotmail.com.

I don't care if you know her or not. Indeed, only a small handful of you have ever even seen her. Doesn't matter.

Take a few seconds right now and send her a birthday greeting.

It doesn't have to be anything other than "Your son sent me; Happy Birthday Annet Stein! He's batshit insane but I nice guy, I guess if you're cool with batshit insane!"

You can do it however you want, simple or complex...but don't go sending her goatse shots or I'll track you down and kick your ass so hard I'll have to open your mouth to tie my shoelaces.

Keep in the spirit of her birthday, yo.

And you know what?

Tell your friends.

Tell all of 'em. Repost this in YOUR LJ and tell people to wish my Mama a happy birthday.

No chance to do it on the 18th? Hell, who doesn't enjoy getting even late birthday wishes?

Help bust last year's 80+ birthday greetings.

Help celebrate the woman who, when it comes to me, did the absolute best with what she was given to work with. :)

Ah, and here's a photo that my little brother did for an art project he devised. You get to guess which one is my mama.



Here she is a few years back, enjoying the outdoors:



Love, and many thanks in advance,

benjamin

Well, it seems that I'm 32 today.

Hunh.

Allow me to celebrate by giving you some photos of the newly-reorganized toys in my office at home.

Compact version:



( OH YEAH, LOOK AT THESE MOTHERFUCKERS RIGHT HERE! (Do you appreciate my LJ cut? Don't get used to it, my monkeys) )

You liked that, didn't you?

C'mon, admit it.

The geek wants out.

Okay, I'm gonna be only spottily on the internet at best for the next few days.

I'll check in when I can.

Your Internet Monkey King loves you, little ones.

Smooches,

b

Today is Sara's birthday.

She is the most bestest person I know.

See Also: most talented, sexiest, funniest, smartest, coolest, most-likely-to-be-okay-with-me-calling-her-Von-Beansenstein, woman ever.

I love her so hard that I sometimes think I might get some sort of embolism.

If you wanna leave her birthday greetings, do so here. :)















b

I might do a Special Double Edition of So You Don't Have To tonight.

I might not.

Sir Reginald story is coming along.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, I'll respond to all of you once we get back from the bookstore.

Smooches,

b

Lovely Wife Sara?

Give her lemons a chicken tea cozy and she'll make lemonade a chicken tea cozy hat.



Seriously, it's a pretty fucking awesome tea cozy. Thanks Ann and Brian (and Sophie).

Forgot to show off the drawing ericfmyers made for me on my birthday, after I requested radioactive monsters:



I love people.

b

A) Am in Chicago.
     Saturday is my birthday.
     Should I go out somewhere on Sat. night, and if so where, and if so, who'll show up?
     I'll probably be free around 10:30 or 11:00 pm.
     We're in Chicago proper, so no freaking Mokena hot-spots or anything.

B) iamangelachase is awesome. You know how often I ask a certain question about a certain type of clothing? Well, she drew it for me.



b

     Yep, it’s September 18, 2006, which means that it’s time for The 9^th Annual Wish benjamin’s Mother A Happy Birthday…Day.

     My mother lives in Orlando, Florida, and I live in Urbana, Illinois. According to Google maps, we’re 1,065 miles apart. As such, we don’t see each other very often, perhaps once or twice a year. Add to that the fact that she becomes cross when her children give her presents and you’ll see why my options are pretty much limited to a phone call. Well, they used to be.
     You see, in my senior year of college, I started using The Interwebs to get people to wish my mother a happy birthday. That first year, about twelve people sent her an e-mail. The number has increased every year, and I hope that this year is no exception.
     I love my mama more than a whole stack of take-away curry and Chinese food and authentic Mexican food from El Charro. So show her some love on her…umm…39^th birthday, and tell her that her batshit son sent you.

     …

     Okay, tell her that her batshit son named benjamin sent you. Sorry, Matthew, Jason, and Nathan #2, but you know I speak the truth.

SHE IS:
Annet Stein
n8annet at hotmail dott com

                                                    Love to all of you,

 
                                                            benjamin sTone

PS – As a bonus, please see the original e-mail below, salvaged from a text-file dump of my old Pine account at the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign.
PPS – Tell your friends. Even strangers are welcome to tell my mama how cool she is.
PPPS -- Yes, I was signing my name that way back in 1997, too. It was an interwebs error thing.

                                                                            
THE ORIGINAL E-MAIL FROM NINE YEARS AGO:

Date: Wed, 17 Sep 1997 20:41:54 -0500 (CDT)
From: <b-stone@students.uiuc.edu>
X-Sender: b-stone@ux9.cso.uiuc.edu 
To: XXXXXXXXX
Subject: Happy Birthday to my mom.
Message-ID: <Pine.SOL.3.91.970917203716.3946A-100000@ux9.cso.uiuc.edu>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
Status: RO
X-Status:  

I KNOW EVERYONE HATES MASS-MAILINGS, but...

WISH HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MOM, ANNET STEIN !!!!  You'll get a similar
message in a week, to do the same for my brother Matthew, but we'll deal with
that later.  My Mom's b-day is the 18 of Sept, don't worry if you're a day or
two late, just send e-mail birthday wishes to:

annetn8@XXXXXXXX.com

THANKS!!!!

benjamin sTone

So, time for a version of what I do for my mother every year for her birthday. She lives in Florida, so I only see her once or twice a year. Every year, therefore, I have my friends send her e-mail birthday greetings. It doesn't even matter if she doesn't know you.

My brother Jason's birthday is today, and I rarely see him, as well, even though he's only about 3 1/2 hours away. Our schedules usually don't mix well.

The point is, this is his e-mail address, and this is where I'd like you to send birthday greetings:

jpstone@adams.net

He's my oldest brother, and he's 35 today, and he's quite awesome. He's a lawyer in Quincy, IL, and lives over an Italian restaurant.
Most Saturday nights he has martinis with his friend Kirby and a Catholic priest whose name escapes me.
He also plays a mean pipe organ.
(Let's pretend we've gotten all of the "pipe organ" jokes out of our system in advance, shall we?)

If you feel like, tell your friends to participate as well.

Wish Jason a happy birthday, my monkeys, however you see fit.
Even if you don't read this until tomorrow, drop him a line anyway.

benjamin
With thanks in advance