Dr Townsends Compound Extract of Sarsparilla advertisement scan

"Permanent Cure of all Diseases arising from an Impure state of the Blood, or habit of the System, Vix: Scrofula or King's Evil, Rheumatism, Obstinate Cutaneous Eruptions, Pimples or Pustules on the Face, Blotches, Biles, Chronic Sore Eyes, Ring Worm, or Tetter; Scald Head, Enlargement and Pain of the Bones and Joints, Stubborn Ulcers, Syphilitic Disorders, Lumbago, Spinal Complaints, and all Diseases arising from an injudicious use of Mercury; Ascites or Dropsy, Exposure or Imprudence inn Life. It invariably cures Indigestion or Dyspepsia, Neurolagia, General and Nervous Debility, Palpitation of the Heart, Liver Complaint, and Inflammation in the Kidneys. Ladies of pale complexion and Consumptive habits, and such as are debilitated by those obstructions which females are liable to, are restored by the use of a bottle or two, to bloom and vigor."

Found in a UIUC Library book by Scott Mann

What's that?

You heard that [livejournal.com profile] fairyarmadillo and I are running a massive book sale for the Estate of Michael Hart?


It's gonna be awesome.

So, you remember Jim Magee, the guy who customized the awesome Android figure? This little fella that ended up at Stone Robot Enterprises with me and [livejournal.com profile] fairyarmadillo?

I dunno, this just looks like rusty water

Well, Jim's been hard at work and he now has a place where you can buy his customs.

I mean, the Tankdroid has already sold...

and 4 1

...but there's a fully-armed robot...


...a custom Bambaboss that's he's turned into something awesome...

Bamba II 2i

Bamba II 6

Bamba II 5

...and even a delightfully modded Super Sucklord Gay Empire figure to whom he gave a full sexy dancer look. Yes, that's a tease to make you go look. :P

And you know what? The more things sell, the closer we may be to seeing something like this up there....

zom storm 6

And you don't want to miss THAT boat.

Go check 'em out and keep up with his work over on Flickr.



[livejournal.com profile] fairyarmadillo and I made Valentine's Day cards for each other as we laid in bed last night. She also made one for everybody with her little piggy, Zoot. :D


Valentine's Day Drawings for My Favorite Robot!

(Drawn in pencil, sorry for the bad scan)

Valentine for benjamin

[HEY! is one of the only things I shout with regularity, and yes, my Tourette's sometimes makes me throw things. :P]


Cupid Piggie!


Stone-Robot Enterprises

These two awesome people were at Boltini Lounge in Champaign, Illinois, on October 29, 2011, for the Halloween Party.

If you recognize the people behind the characters, I'd love to give them Proper Mad Props. I hope somebody knows who they are.

PS - "Ollie and Dinah" is not an acceptable answer. :P

Awesome Green Arrow and Black Canary costumes / cosplay at Boltini Halloween 2011

...as this video I shot demonstrates.

If you somehow slept through that part of the internet, The Onion A.V. Club interviewed They Might Be Giants and included their standard demand that guest acts perform a song from a list provided for them.

The result is here and fucking awesome. Read the bit below the video before watching it.

So, what did John, John, Dan, Dan, and Marty do as an appropriate response?

On Friday, in Chicago, they brought the whole A.V. Club onstage as a guitar army to play a different song, before swinging into the one they originally covered.

Fucking sweet.

Sorry I've been a bit distant again. Life is...hectic, but awesome.

I still love all most of you, though.

Hope you're having a great day.


We had a fucking awesome week in Shanghai with my brother Nathan and old friends of hers--and new friends of mine--Tinny and Jarek. We are slowly putting up pics on our Flickr accounts. Here are some of mine and some of hers. Click on them to be whisked away to that person's Flickr account. More pics are forthcoming.


A relatively average apartment building:

A relatively average apartment building in Shanghai

If nobody's in your shop, why not nap with your dog? Makes sense to me.

Store owners get bored too

My lady eats delicious la mian Muslim noodles from a street vendor:

Nadja eats delicious cold la mian noodles from a Muslim street vendor in Shanghai


Red panda goes OM NOM NOM on some bamboo:

Delicious stick

Ancient temple, modern city:

Ancient temple, modern city

Me eating stinky tofu, which was delicious:

benjamin eats stinky tofu for the first time

And yes, [livejournal.com profile] fairyarmadillo and I shot several So You Don't Have To videos, including one with my little brother Nathan.


I told Nadja that I was going to draw something that I sleepily described to her a few days ago. This thing involved a hippo, and I told her I might try to freehand it. She gave me one of those "O RLY?" looks and said we should both freehand one.

We did so--neither of us seeing what the other was drawing--and then compared notes.

I think that I should leave this without commentary, save for two from us:

"But whatever, yours does look like a pony." - [livejournal.com profile] fairyarmadillo about mine
"Yours has long legs with different lengths! It's the elusive mountain hippo!" - me about hers

Nadja Hippo vs benjamin Hippo

I am so crazy in love and we go to China in four days, one day after the play she's been working her ass off for, where she's handmade over a dozen alien costumes for junior high kids.

Yes, you'll get pics of both.

Don't say I never do nothing for you little monkeys.


My Robot was fighting crime with her bat utility belt.

Nadja prepares to fight crime with her Bat Utility Belt

Nadja and I made "fish" with this "cookbook!"

Cooking With A Foreign Accent



Stone Robot Enterprises
benchilada: (Alphonse)

Looking at options for doing more Toys in the Bookstacks.

Enjoying this FUCK YEAH, KNOCK-OFFS video. Hilarity abounds.



benchilada: (Internet Monkey King)

Welcome, my children, to something the world hasn't seen for eighteen months...

...because for the last eighteen months, the world wasn't ready.

I promise that this feature will never again go untended for so long.

I promise that I'll no longer neglect adventure in my life.

I promise that it was just the one time that I touched you in your sleeNOTHING HAPPENED.

***totally awesome drumroll goes here***


That subtitle is still subject to change.

A little over a week ago, I was in Oakland, California, bringing my sweetie Nadja Robot (known to the LJ world as [livejournal.com profile] fairyarmadillo) back to live with me in Champaign, Illinois. She is super-awesome and it's like living with a cuter, smarter, funnier version of me. Life is good.

ANYWAY! She took me to Nordic House, an adorable little store that specializes in Scandinavian food, drink, and chintz. The reason for the trip to Nurdic Hurse (← to be read in Swedish Chef voice) was so we could hook up a few items for this new SYDHT.

We were not disappointed.

Grandpa Lunquist Christmas Soda bottle

This is Grandpa Lun—oh, you can read. If it's anything like MY grandpa around Christmas, it tastes like sour mash bourbon and decades of regret.

Kaiserdom Club Malz Non-Alcoholic Malt Beverage

Ah, “non-alcoholic” and “malt beverage.” Words I like to see near each other as much as I do “cyanide” and “ice cream” or perhaps “penis” and “wasps.” Also, every man reading this totally just imagined what that would feel like.

Beauvais Asier jar

[NAME REDACTED] at the store told us that these were...spoilers. No, she didn't say “This is a jar of spoilers.” She said “Lingen longen jarra spoilurz.”

Pickled fish stuff 2

Zero labels. Not even price, let alone hints or tips. Fish floating in slightly thick liquid in a plastic container in a tied-off plastic bag. That's a little something that Norwegians like to call, “Go Time.”

MEDICAL WARNING: Man, my Tourette's was going BATSHIT when we filmed this, so if you have a movement disorder, this may be a bit triggery. As 2010 progressed, a tic that my friends call my “bunny nose” made a steady comeback. Since Nadja and I filmed this right before we had to check out of the hotel, eat some lunch, and get on a plane--after being crazy busy for and sleeping poorly for a week--everything added up to benjamin being a spastic. I love that as a spastic, I'm legally entitled to use the word spastic. Me and Michael J. Fox go out for drinks sometimes to make fun of you sad little “steady” people. Sure, we spill most of those drinks down our shirts, but the point stands.


So there you go. Christmas soda tastes like sugar and spice and everything nice. Non-alcoholic malt-beverage tastes like wheat butt. Aseir has nothing to do with pears. The wily Norwegian Fish Stuff is to be feared and respected. And [livejournal.com profile] blackcat2086 gives good shirt.

Nordic House is pretty cool and we highly recommend it. Make sure you get a second opinion on anything you can't read, though. :P If I'm ever there again, I'll definitely get a different Fish Product...but I'll eat it with crackers. And gusto.

Be well, my little ones.



PS - Since this IS going to be a regular feature again, we have some awesome plans, but getting food from the internet is double-awesome. Batshit food is preferred but certainly not required. No flattened cuttlefish need apply, as I've gotten plenty over the years. Nadja and I will be going through what we have left and probably doing a clean-up round, but So You Don't Have To RELIES ON YOU TO SUCCEED!

benjamin sTone and Nadja Robot (AKA Stone Robot Enterprises)
506 W. Healey, Apt. 5
Champaign, IL

Bring the pain.

Stay with me here, kids, it's worth it.

So, from last night at about 9:30 to this morning at about  9:30, I had goddammed "What's new, pussycat?" stuck in my head.

Nobody wants that.

But...there is a cure, my little monkeys.

This is a song called "Sugar in the Marmalade" by Leon Lai. He recorded three versions (Cantonese, Mandarin, English) but the lyrics in the third are not actually a translation of the first two. I'll put both translations of the lyrics behind a jump at the end of this entry.

I've heard it played at three weddings (my own included) and have friends whose butts start to shake when the opening singer starts her strange, high-pitched thing about "breed another kitty tonight." Okay, I don't think that's what she says, but that's what I like to hear.

It's strangely well-crafted pop that turns crazy violin, rapping, and occasional English. Oh, and the rapper totally hypes the violinist, Eugene Park, at one point. Hell, the actual lyrics don't start properly until 45 seconds in. God I fucking love this song.

The video is the same for all three, even though it only fits with the English version. Oh, and except the we-spent-seven-dollars-on-greenscreen car on the ocean, not available in the Cantonese version.


For those of you who already know the song--and yes, there are a number of those people reading this--you likely know the Cantonese version. Please to enjoy the English version (skipping the Mandarin version) and the 2005 BALLAD VERSION FROM AN ALL LEON LAI COVER ALBUM! And yes, for the video I'm posting of that one, somebody has weirdly pasted the album audio over a live concert.

Did I mention that I'm also posting one of the most adorably bizarre recorded-on-the-webcam karaoke versions of it, complete with background singer guy making Engrish out of words that are already Engrish?


...prepare to have your MIND completely BLOWN.

Who loves you? 

Daddy loves you.







Now go do something productive, like sharing this song with others now that it's stuck in your head until you die.



How absolutely delightful!

[livejournal.com profile] smileybead's husband JIm--on the day before he went vegan--did a So You Don't Have To.

What wonderful people.

If you're on Facebook, I think you can view her photos of the items right-goddamned-here.

Sorry I'm so behind on SYDHT's.
And everything.
Circumstances, et cetera.

You must be so tired of me apologizing for this.

I love all of you guys.

Thanks for being here,

It's a bit of a kick in the creative pants when one of your friends is turning a story of yours into a comic and it's looking better than it did in your head when you were writing it.

[livejournal.com profile] grafunkel totally did that to me.

The story is a Sir Reginald piece that you can read right here. But for now just enjoy his awesome.

Sir Reginald vs Man-X page 1 by Art Grafunkel

Well done, Belgian Van den Belgian--IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME. Fucking nice one. Can't wait to see the rest.

Happy Barbadian Independence Day!

Sorry I've been completely lax with my LJ readings; we went out for Sara's birthday last night and I was in Indiana over the weekend, sans internet.

I'll try to catch up, a little bit, over the next 24 hours.

Anyway, here's the latest benjamin-as-Internet-Monkey-King art, this time by the lovely [livejournal.com profile] chiere :

Melissa--aka [profile] his_hamstress--documented the details of this weekend with more details and more photos than I did.

It's great, even if it does show how I weigh more than I've ever weighed in my life. Time to fix that. ANYWAY...

She's a rockstar, and you should check it out.

I'll try to draw something for y'all tonight, unless Watch The Season Premiere Of Doctor Who night runs long and late.

Ways To Know Things Are Really Quite Awesome, Chapter 412:

-- Get an e-mail from Dean "[profile] man_size  " Haspiel titled "I sent Walter Simonson your Hemingway comic"

Read Simonson's e-mail, which says "Great Hemingway strip.  Just great! W"


Time to get back to writing, it seems.

Two things.

A) I love [personal profile] carrot_khan, who made this:

B) This stuff in the photo below is by [profile] oyglavin and it's awesome. It's not what you think, as you'll find here...

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