Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

HA! Look what I found at the comic shop yesterday. You'll know who you are if you know what this is...

I really need to start photo-documenting all the packages I get.

Recently got one from pilliwiggan,  one from gutter_monkey, and a CD from man_size and I've got the pics to prove it.

It's crazy. I think I'm averaging at least one package from the internet a week.

I'm actually having to make a list of who sent what, especially if it's food that good in the Food of Doom Basket. Or Basket of Food Doom. It doesn't really have an official name yet, I guess...

I want to design a Sir Reginald shirt . Maybe put some info on it about how to reach him/me.

I also want to get back on some artists about pitching a comic.

I wonder if man_size or zegas can tell me what Negative Burn accepts as submissions...

Hmmm...

In addition, I've got benchilada.net and sirreginald.org, but I've still not done anything with either of them.

I should really figure out how interwebs sites work.

yowzer tried to help me once, but I'm...well, see my icon.

b

Ugh. Still don't feel entirely awake. Wish I'd slept more. Glad I have tomorrow off.

As such, I'll be doing a relatively easy (sorry, g0dz17la ) Five Questions thingie this time.

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1.) Who's stronger Thor or the Hulk?

Believe it or not, I've always loved this question and have contemplated it a number of times. Here's the way I break it down:

Being a God doesn't necessarily mean that you're the strongest motherfucker that there is. Being the Norse God of Asskickery means you're off to a good start.

Hulk? He's just the strongest mortal, right? We say that like it's a limitation of some sort.

See, I always figured that pound-for-pound, Hulk would win in a regular fight because...wait for it...using a mystical, indestructible hammer is a cheap way to win. You take that away from Goldilocks? I figure that Thor would pull the upper hand--and being a God, wouldn't do a lot of tiring--but that as time went by and Hulk got madder, the tide would start turning as the big green guy started really laying into the God of Thunder.

Or, if you want Thor to keep his hammer, let Hulk have Cap's shield. :)

2.) Which online Orkut or LJ person would you want to meet most in real life?

Jesus, like that isn't putting me on the spot. Now anybody who isn't picked is going to fucking hate me.
Allow me to break it down a bit, after saying that I Want To Meet All of Them At Once At a Massive Party.

Orkut: Person I'd like to meet the most after years of helpful emotional attachment is easily Tat. She and I each helped the other through some stumbling times.

Orkut: Person I'd most like to party with? You and yer girl. The world would never recover.

LJ: First, gotta meet man_size, as he's already helped my fledgling comic career more than I could have ever hoped.

LJ: Second...Jesus, this is a tough one...party for a week in Antarctica with funranium , then get an apartment with bobo_dreams and allow our Geekness to overtake the world.

Overall winner? fairyarmadillo. I've known her online for about thirteen years now, and the fact that we've never been able to meet is a fucking crime. It makes me sad to think about it.

3.) What's your favorite day of the year?

Usually Halloween. I've only ever not dressed-up ONCE in my life, and that year was only because we were driving hundreds of miles.
It's such a great day, and seeing other insane people dressed up is great. Scary movies and societal permission to dress like I'm batshit? PERFECT!

4.) What was your least favorite comic book plot cop-out (ie: dead hero not dead anymore)?

Most Recent: Captain America surrendering at the end of the Marvel Civil War. Don't tell me one of the world's premier tactical geniuses didn't think that a big-ass fuckoff fight in downtown New York wouldn't happen. I actually liked most of Civil War--especially if you include Paul Jenkins's Front Line--but to let it fizz out RIGHT when it should bang? Silly.

Of all time? Tough call, but I'm going with when they undid practically every beautiful thing--from Xorn, to Magneto's end, to Phoenix--that Grant Morrison did during his magnificent NEW X-MEN run.

5.) If we came to visit what would we do?

We'd party. Not silly nonstop drinking party--although there would be at least one night of that, where we'd all wake up on the living room floor half-naked and covered in something sticky--but doing every imaginable fun thing that we could. We'd take you to Allerton Park, then we'd eat at Milo's, maybe? We'd hit El Charro one day for the best Mexican food in Illinois, then probably go see something at The Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, then we'd have all of our friends meet you guys, and then there'd be a pool party with Anne and Bob at Joe and Bethany's and then drive through miniscule towns in the countryside, and...

You'd go home with your bodies exhausted and your souls fulfilled.

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Got Five Questions? Ask.
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b

1) For god's sake, quit saying "KILL YOUR TELEVISION" and help people learn when to turn it on and when to turn it off. The glass teat (Thanks, Uncle Harlan) isn't the problem, damn it.

2) When I die, you fuckers better have a party that I'D WANT TO BE AT! Dancing. Music. Booze. Awesomeness. I should put all of that in my will. That if you don't plan this party, nobody gets anything of mine and nobody gets to desecrate my corpse.

3) I have a headache.

4) Jesus, people have actually started calling me "Uncle Drinky" in Real Life(tm). I don't even drink THAT much. I don't think. So, apart from "Mr. 'chilada" (thanks man_size and froborr_dwiggy) what other nicknames have been generated for me on The Interwebs? What nicknames should be generated? Why do I love all of you so much?

5) Tell me something awesome. Make my soul be all "ROCKSTAR!" and shit.

6) Be here now. Motherfucker.

b
Who is not drunk, shut up.

Dean "man_size" Haspiel is 39 today!!!



Thanks fer all the tips and opportunities, Sifu.

My monkeys, you must go groove on his art and his LJ.

b

All my comics from today, vaguely spread out on my messy-ass desk. Work computer on left, my computer on right.

I *swear* that I'm doing my manga editing (right computer) for DrMaster on my lunch hour only...

See anything you like...or, like, anything you WROTE or DREW? (I'm lookin' at you, man_size and brianwood...)

( Big honkin' picture behind this cut )

Yeah, I'm an OmniGeek. One of those bastards who can keep up with a Gamera conversation; a discussion about how crappy it is that Marvel censored Mark Waid's Red Skull daydream story for Captain America v.3, issue 14; why The Bird People in China is one of Takashi Miike's most underrated and underwatched films; why the Mao-Shan sect of Taoism is so cool; who Wong Fei Hung REALLY was; the coolest chapter of The House of Seven Gables; and why Kula Shaker prove that you can't go wrong with British Hindu Rockers.

In any event, more evidence:

Here's why Dean Haspiel is a God-King among Tiny "Men":



Every time that I get pissed about my writing, now, I just look at that. I'm a sentimental fuck, so I am...

Oh, and then here's me trying not to rub viciously against something I dug out of a forgotten box of my old crap today:



Yup.

Omni-Geek

benjamin
CURRENT MUSIC: "Planet" - The Sugarcubes
LAST BOOK I READ A PAGE OF: HELLBLAZER: RAKE AT THE GATES OF HELL -- Garth Ennis, Steve Dillon
LAST MOVIE: dunno
NEXT MOVIE: OLDBOY, I swear...

I am going to be killed by, in order, zegas, digitante, man_size, and 4_eyez.

And then warren_ellis is going to shit on my cat.

Looka hee-yah...
http://www.ljfunnies.com/comics/funnies.php?comic_id=275


benjamin

http://www.dnalounge.com/backstage/atm/

I wrote a big thing about why New Year’s is my second favorite holiday, Halloween being the first.

But I’ve decided, fuck that, people always say the same things about New Years: big changes, the year I finally do (insert thing here), wiping the slate clean.

The slate is not clean.
The world is not clean.
Most of us will not lose weight and shape-up.

But, goddamn it, you have a fucking OBLIGATION to make the world a better place. Why? Because I said so.

2005: has a nice science-fiction ring to it, yes?
Try making it the year where you make a difference. To the world, to yourself, to somebody else.

Arbitrary date? Yes.
Resolutions for shit? Yes.
Bills and worries gone? No.
A WAY TO FEEL THAT SOMETHING NEW IS HERE, AND THAT YOU WILL HELP MAKE IT SOMETHING IMPORTANT? You know the answer.

On that note, maybe this year when I promise you a story, I’ll actually deliver.

I have one for tomorrow night, I hope.

benjamin

CURRENT BOOK: THE GOD OF SMALL THINGS, Arundhati Roy
LAST MOVIE: Bits of RAISING HELEN that Sara’s family was watching
CURRENT MUSIC: “Gooby Mass” – Lou Reed
LAST THING I SAW THAT MADE ME WANT TO CRY AND HIT THINGS AT THE SAME TIME: http://www.ogrish.com *WARNING* this is not a site for the faint of heart. This is a site for people who want to see what a suicide bombing REALLY looks like. What an execution of Iraqi cops REALLY looks like. Why I am so fucking opposed to the war it makes me sick. Damn, but I am bitter tonight. I gotta go kiss my wife.

Oh, and special thanks to man_size for reminding me that this site exists...

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My hypershort fictions and non-fiction commentaries go to http://www.yahoogroups.com/groups/compositemolecules

and http://benchilada.livejournal.com
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Flickr photostream of my bizarre photos at http://www.flickr.com/photos/benchilada/