Mike was one of the only people who drew something a week or two ago when I demanded that people draw something.
He went meta, dog love him. Maybe I look a smidge like Robert Downey, Jr., but since when was that a bad thing?
So I was randomly poking around Flickr one day and I saw this:
And I was all "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS AWESOME." Not just because I love my Droid phone and the Android system's little mascot, but also because "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS AWESOME."
I dropped the fellow a line about how sweet this Android custom is, and he told me that it was his first custom ever. Look at that thing again. That was his first custom and this is what they look like au natural:
Jim and I continued to converse and then...well, he decided that he needed to send it to me. For free.
To quote The Judge, "THIS WILL NOT DO!"
A bit of cross-Atlantic talking--mostly me telling him that his stuff is too good to not be SOLD to people--and we arrived at a price that was pleasing to both of us. He then told me that he would only take out the cost of the Droid figure and donate the rest of the money to Shelter.
Yeah, you go ahead and read that last sentence again.
NOW...I don't think that sort of scenario is ever going to happen again, because now I'm here to plug his work so that he can have a bit of supplemental income for what he describes as just a hobby. And you're going to help me out, yes?
He has never done a commission before, but look at his stuff. He has some non-rust customs that will be up soon, since he's branching out from his current streak of customizing Ashley Wood designs.
I'll keep you updated, but in the mean time, tell your friends about this awesome customizer you heard about, one who is modest and generous...and who needs to start making some reasonable money off of his creations.
And now, a small story about my new Droid, which arrived yesterday. :D
"Somebody said there was some juice for my batteries over here...."
His story continues after this cut:
( LOOK OUT, DROID! That stuff is for adults! HUMAN adults! )
Go dig Jim's stuff, tell people about Jim's stuff, and then get back to work, slackers.
Guess it's Christmouse/Khanuchka/Kwaanzaaa time again, and we all need to get presents for friends.
We all have an awesome chance here. As news about our economy stagnates and massive corporations bemoan their less-than-unpleasant fates, we can feel kinda helpless. Remember, though, that there are ways we can help improve things, ways that DON'T require giving hoards of money to big box stores or places whose practices we dislike but where we must shop by necessity.
Improve the economy by BUYING LOCAL and BUYING HANDMADE. We're here to help.
--- Do you sell art?
--- Do you sell other items?
--- Do you have friends who do these things?
--- Do you know of a local business that could use a little boost?
If you answered YES to ANY of those questions, please read The Rules of the Game.
If you answered NO to all of those questions, you confuse me.
THE RULES OF THE GAME:
1) PIMP ART THAT YOU HAVE FOR SALE - Doesn't matter what kind of art you make. I don't care if you've got a novel or mini-comics or original art or t-shirts or if you recreate historical stabbings with mashed potatoes or whatever. Doesn't matter if you already make money off of your art. I want to hear about it and so does the public, whether they know it or not,
2) PIMP ONLY ART THAT IS FOR SALE - Please no "None is for sale but here's my art." The Big Shill is for people to--WITH LUCK--make a little cash or get some awesome shit. By shit I mean art...unless your art is poop-sculpture, in which case I mean both,
3) PIMP LOCAL BUSINESSES - Tell us about the store and why they're awesome. Local doesn't always mean super great, after all. Link to a website, tell why they're awesome, post pics, and make it obvious where they're located,
3) PIMP IN THE COMMENTS SECTION - Make sure that you make an individual comment to the entry itself! This way people skimming the comments can see your stuff. If you make a response to somebody else's comment with your art, it will probably get compressed as the day goes on and will no longer be visible. A good comment will, ideally, have a photo of your art, a link to your website, how much people can expect to pay for your art, how people can pay for your art, and whether or not you will accept other art in trade, i.e. a minicomic for a minicomic,
4) PIMP EACH THING ONLY ONCE - Multiple comments will be probably deleted, unless you've got a
correction to make to an earlier comment. If you positively horribly must have something in the comments that you totally forgot the first time, let me know and we'll try to get it in if it's not just more photos of more stuff but rather a real update that people need to know. I'd prefer that people take a little time crafting their comment to having to allow tons of comments from single individuals,
5) PIMP THIS ENTRY TO YOUR FRIENDS - The more that people hear about this, the more likely your art is to sell, the more likely art of others is to sell, the more likely that penguins will strike ice fish from bel--no, that was the special I watched a few years ago on PBS. But, yeah, tell people about this whether you
have art in it or not,
6) COME BACK TO THIS ENTRY TODAY AND TOMORROW AND SO ON - Since this entry should be constantly updated, there will be more stuff to see all the time. I'll have a few reminders, including at least one tomorrow, one over the weekend and one on Monday. If you get tired of the reminders, the Sit-n-Spin is in the corner, as is the raggedy butt-plug,
7) ANONYMOUS COMMENTS ARE ENABLED - This is for anybody who swings by but doesn't have an LJ...which will happen if you obey Rule 5. If you're commenting anonymously, simply follow the instructions in Rule 3, just add who you are and be very specific about contact information, et cetera,
Possibly the most important of all...
8) BUY THINGS!!! - Obviously not everybody is going to be able to buy shit. I'm cool with that. But if you see something that's reasonable and you have a little extra cash from that trick you turned at 3 a.m. then consider using it for a good cause. If you see a good book or a good poop sculpture, buy it. You'll probably not regret it.
LINK TO THIS ENTRY!
BOOK YOUR FACES!
TELL YOUR FRIENDS VIA CLONED CARRIER PIGEON!
benjamin and Nadja
Stone Robot Enterprises
PS - The logo this year is by fairyarmadillo
PPS - She and I finally have a store where you can buy some items with stuff we drew printed on them. S'pretty cool.
Hello, LJ! To get away from the bitching on FB (and because I still have little use for G+), I'll possibly be dropping in here more often.
Now entertain me. And each other.
near you right now, or when you are near
a camera and can upload something.
RIGHT IN THE ASS, TOO!!!
Rich, rare, and racy letters? Sound like James Joyce's personal life, AMIRITE?!
Welcome, my children, to something the world hasn't seen for eighteen months...
...because for the last eighteen months, the world wasn't ready.
I promise that this feature will never again go untended for so long.
I promise that I'll no longer neglect adventure in my life.
I promise that it was just the one time that I touched you in your sleeNOTHING HAPPENED.
***totally awesome drumroll goes here***
So You Don't Have To 2.0:
IN YOUR FUCKING FACE!
That subtitle is still subject to change.
A little over a week ago, I was in Oakland, California, bringing my sweetie Nadja Robot (known to the LJ world as fairyarmadillo) back to live with me in Champaign, Illinois. She is super-awesome and it's like living with a cuter, smarter, funnier version of me. Life is good.
ANYWAY! She took me to Nordic House, an adorable little store that specializes in Scandinavian food, drink, and chintz. The reason for the trip to Nurdic Hurse (← to be read in Swedish Chef voice) was so we could hook up a few items for this new SYDHT.
We were not disappointed.
This is Grandpa Lun—oh, you can read. If it's anything like MY grandpa around Christmas, it tastes like sour mash bourbon and decades of regret.
Ah, “non-alcoholic” and “malt beverage.” Words I like to see near each other as much as I do “cyanide” and “ice cream” or perhaps “penis” and “wasps.” Also, every man reading this totally just imagined what that would feel like.
[NAME REDACTED] at the store told us that these were...spoilers. No, she didn't say “This is a jar of spoilers.” She said “Lingen longen jarra spoilurz.”
Zero labels. Not even price, let alone hints or tips. Fish floating in slightly thick liquid in a plastic container in a tied-off plastic bag. That's a little something that Norwegians like to call, “Go Time.”
MEDICAL WARNING: Man, my Tourette's was going BATSHIT when we filmed this, so if you have a movement disorder, this may be a bit triggery. As 2010 progressed, a tic that my friends call my “bunny nose” made a steady comeback. Since Nadja and I filmed this right before we had to check out of the hotel, eat some lunch, and get on a plane--after being crazy busy for and sleeping poorly for a week--everything added up to benjamin being a spastic. I love that as a spastic, I'm legally entitled to use the word spastic. Me and Michael J. Fox go out for drinks sometimes to make fun of you sad little “steady” people. Sure, we spill most of those drinks down our shirts, but the point stands.
OMG WHY ARE THERE TWO VIDEOS?!
So there you go. Christmas soda tastes like sugar and spice and everything nice. Non-alcoholic malt-beverage tastes like wheat butt. Aseir has nothing to do with pears. The wily Norwegian Fish Stuff is to be feared and respected. And blackcat2086 gives good shirt.
Nordic House is pretty cool and we highly recommend it. Make sure you get a second opinion on anything you can't read, though. :P If I'm ever there again, I'll definitely get a different Fish Product...but I'll eat it with crackers. And gusto.
Be well, my little ones.
PS - Since this IS going to be a regular feature again, we have some awesome plans, but getting food from the internet is double-awesome. Batshit food is preferred but certainly not required. No flattened cuttlefish need apply, as I've gotten plenty over the years. Nadja and I will be going through what we have left and probably doing a clean-up round, but So You Don't Have To RELIES ON YOU TO SUCCEED!
benjamin sTone and Nadja Robot (AKA Stone Robot Enterprises)
506 W. Healey, Apt. 5
Bring the pain.
And it fucking rocks. Here's his first page.
CLICK IT TO GET TO HIS ENTRY!
I've left the bastard alone for too long.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN'T DRAW.
I wrote this script several years ago for a friend whose life went unexpectedly very busy. With a bit of rewriting by me and some touch-ups by fairyarmadillo, it's now ready for YOU. That's right, YOU!
Shit, man, I couldn't draw my way out of something you'd have to draw your way out of, but I still do it!
If you don't know who Sir Reginald is, click the link above. I've been writing stories about him for years, others have been drawing him for years, and I've even given special permission to two people to include the character in works of their own.
IMPORTANT: THERE IS NO SET DESCRIPTION OF SIR REGINALD. You get to decide what he looks like. If you need to read more stuff for ideas, click here for some of my Sir Reginald stories. A goodly number of artists have interpreted him in a goodly number of ways.
This is a five page story, originally written to be about four panels each, save for the last page. While I want you to stick to the five pages layout, the panels themselves are totally remixable by you. Want six frames? Do it. Inexplicably want one frame per page? Good luck.
Please make sure that you include the title (which you can ALSO remix) as well as the names of the writer and artist and the date on your work.
I'm shooting for a one-month "deadline," which is to say "don't spend more time than that on it unless you're really odd, in which case you should let me know that you'll be doing so."
You can't sell your interpretation. Should I ever sell any Reginald stuff and yours is included, I'm sure you'll get a share of the 18 dollars I'm paid.
THERE IS NOT A PRIZE BEING OFFERED. That is not to say that I won't try to come up with something, but I'm poor, so certainly don't expect one.
UNLESS OTHERWISE REQUESTED, EVERY ADAPTATION WILL BE PUT ONLINE IN SEVERAL PLACES WITH CREDIT GIVEN TO ALL INVOLVED.
FILE WAS DOWNLOADED OVER 100 TIMES, NEW LINK TO SCRIPT IS HERE.
Now get started, junkies.
SHIT FIRE AND SAVE MATCHES,
IT'S THE 15th ANNUAL
"SEND MY MOTHER A BIRTHDAY E-MAIL DAY"!!!
You see, I can't remember the last time I saw my mama on her birthday. She's lived in Florida since the very beginning of the 90's, and while I see her a few times a year, it hasn't been on her birthday since who knows when.
And since my Mama is THE PERSON AWESOME PEOPLE GO TO FOR BEING-AWESOME CONSULTATIONS, as well as being one of the smartest, funniest, and by far kindest people I've ever had the pleasure to know in my entire life, she's had more of an impact on who I am today than anybody else in the world. As such, I like to do something for her on her birthday. She hates getting gifts, though, so I've been doing this instead, ever since I had to telnet into my uiuc.edu account using a 14.4 modem, where I would then read my e-mail using Pine.
This year, me and my dame Nadja "fairyarmadillo" Robot will be going down to visit her and my stepfather and whatever other family members are there for Thanksgiving/my birthday, but that's a few months away, so...
PEOPLES OF THE UNIVERSE, PLEASE ATTEND CAREFULLY, AS THE MESSAGE THAT FOLLOWS IS VITAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF YOU ALL:
Her e-mail is email@example.com.
I don't care if you know her or not. Indeed, only a small handful of you have ever even seen her. Doesn't matter.
Take a few seconds right now and send her a birthday greeting.
It doesn't have to be anything other than "Your son sent me; Happy Birthday Annet Stein! He's batshit insane but I nice guy, I guess if you're cool with batshit insane!"
You can do it however you want, simple or complex...but don't go sending her goatse shots or I'll track you down and kick your ass so hard I'll have to open your mouth to tie my shoelaces.
Keep in the spirit of her birthday, yo.
And you know what?
Tell your friends.
Tell all of 'em. Repost this in YOUR LJ and tell people to wish my Mama a happy birthday.
No chance to do it on the 18th? Hell, who doesn't enjoy getting even late birthday wishes?
Help bust last year's 80+ birthday greetings.
Help celebrate the woman who, when it comes to me, did the absolute best with what she was given to work with. :)
Ah, and here's a photo that my little brother did for an art project he devised. You get to guess which one is my mama.
Here she is a few years back, enjoying the outdoors:
Love, and many thanks in advance,
Maybe in the next few days I'll see who wants to do a Sir Reginald comic. Very short. Five sets of four panels, if memory serves. Was originally planned for a one-per-day-for-a-week release. I think. I scripted it a while back for somebody whose life ended up getting VERY busy, so I'm kicking the moth's balls off of it and looking at it.
Maybe I'll ask several of you to do it.
Or even strongly encourage ALL of you to do it.
NO ARTISTIC ABILITY REQUIRED.
Month deadline sort of thing.
Hey kids! Happy New Comic Day!
It seems that the Sexuality Edition of The Truth is growing again, after a mention over at Gala Darling.. Indeed, it still gets a few random comments from time to time.
I highly encourage you to go over and have a look. It's now got five pages worth of responses now and they're all dreadfully fascinating. I kinda re-read all of the comments and only have a few new ones to reply to.
In other news, nearly all other cute in the world has been trumped by this. NEARLY. But yeah, most of it. Except for The Civet.
Okay, I take part of that cute from the tripkitty and put it over here. At fifteen seconds my ass started cracking up. AND IT ALREADY HAS ONE CRACK, IT DOES NOT NEED ANOTHER.
Thanks to some wise and helpful words from Joe and Bethany, I've got a new artist's block method to try.
Did it for the first time last night and it worked.
I produced one of my Hero / Villain-a-Day drawings. Here's a link to my my original post about this.
I cribbed the concept, with permission, from himynameisjamie (his Hero/Villain stuff is here) and ericfmyers (his is right here.)
And yes, if you want to prolong my suffering, feel free to add your own Hero or Villain suggestion for me to draw.
And now, for the request made years ago by juniperesque, for Mathman (to which I added Mr. Glitch):
No wonder Square One wouldn't let him give interviews.
Smooches, my little monkeys.
As it happened a year and a half ago, so is it happening again:
My LG enV 2 is finally crapping out on me.
It doesn't entirely enjoy staying on, resulting in random power-downs.
The OK button on the front--necessary to unlock the keys--is busted.
I carry a lot of things in my pocket and am very clumsy, so it's a little...well-worn.
Probably hasn't helped that I only dial with my craggy, calloused penis.
Point is, I need a new phone.
No, I can't afford an iPhone.
Maye my max range is 100 bucksish? Definitely don't tell me anything over 200.
I use Verizon and will not be swapping carriers.
I do need a qwerty keyboard, whether on a touchscreen or fold/slide-out section. I'd love a bit of web browsability, but that's not 100% required. Chatty-twittery-stuffs would be nice, too.
So, as you did years ago, make pitches. Tell me what I need.
So far, over 55 people have participated in the latest
MONKEY ROLL CALL!
I highly encourage you to click on that link and go over to that entry not only if you haven't posted yet, but also if you haven't looked at it in a while.
These are some of the faces of your social network.
Scroll through the comments. Look at the faces and associate them with the usernames you've always seen.
Read who they are, what they do, what they're going to do, where else they live online...
Do this in your Facebook, Flickr, et cetera. Find faces for the names. See the people behind the phosphor dots. Talk to 'em.
I know for a fact that at least a dozen of my readers have met in real life after meeting on my LJ and then arranging to hang out with each other and that's FANTASTIC.
And I've met...over thirty? Forty? of the people from here and Flickr and Orkut, all of them amazing.
I feel like I finally have some plans for my online presence again, from writing to art to...a few new features and some I abandoned.
Help me make it stick this time, after so many months of fail.
And you know what? The future, for all of its bad shit, really kicks ass sometimes.
PS - Since I forgot to add this last time: Last.fm / Flickr / YouTube / Delicious (still have some to add) / Twitter / LibraryThing / Facebook
IN OTHER WORDS -
Haven't done it in a year-and-a-half, so...
MONKEY ROLL CALL!
There are a shitload of you and I don't know all of you, nor will I ever be able to. Still, I like to have photo reference. I even have a folder on Bettie (my laptop) with photos from the previous times I've done this, with filenames like "smileybead from LJ." Don't think of it as a nightmarish obsession, think of it as "My Brain Doesn't Fucking Remember Anything Are These My Pants Oh God Not Again."
Anyway, here's your chance to show off.
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair, just take the picture.
Post the picture with no editing.
Beneath it, give us a brief bio, tell us where you live online, and what it is you do that should delight us.
Damn, my teeth look all gnarly in this photo...in any event...
Your Friendly Neighborhood Internet Monkey King
How absolutely delightful!
smileybead's husband JIm--on the day before he went vegan--did a So You Don't Have To.
What wonderful people.
If you're on Facebook, I think you can view her photos of the items right-goddamned-here.
Sorry I'm so behind on SYDHT's.
Circumstances, et cetera.
You must be so tired of me apologizing for this.
I love all of you guys.
Thanks for being here,
FINAL CALL THIS YEAR FOR YOU TO DIG ON...
Yes, Christmas is almost here.
Yes, it's likely too late to get any of these things in time to make them into holiday gifts for your friends.
WHO GIVES A SHIT? BUY SOME FUCKING ART.
These are artists who need to sell their work, not just for money but to help spread word-of-mouth for their products.
This isn't just a holiday season thing, it's something that will matter to them all year, and something that can get you some awesome shit for you or friends or family.
TWITTER YOUR MOM ABOUT THIS STUFF!
FACEBOOK THE BIG SHILL POST!
HELP GET THESE PEOPLE'S NAMES AND ART OUT THERE TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE!
STEINS OF SCIENCE!
DOG TREATS AND TOYS!
PLASTIC CANVAS ITEMS!
MODDED MY LITTLE PONIES!
THAT'S THE FUCKING ROCKET OF ART, KIDS,
AND GOD DAMN, IT IS AIMED AT YOUR HEART.
None of these people would object to you buying so much as a single two-dollar item from them.
If you have NO dollars to spend, please comment on art you like and spread the word.
Do something for an artist and it's likely their art will do something for you.