benchilada | Entries tagged with meme

Right, it appears to me that I've chosen

mamagaea 's Five Questions this time.
It appears that way because it's true.

1. How many toys do you own (actual number)?

I wish I had an exact number for you. :(
I'd put it at somewhere above 125 and under 250. There will be new shots of my new toy shelves soon, but those just hold the ones that I currently feel like making weird-ass diorama scenes out of. There are a bunch more upstairs in Rubbermaids.
Somebody remind me to do the office pics soon.

2. How many books do you own (actual number)?

So far tallied? THIS MANY. For the most fun, click on COVER VIEW and DISPLAY 100 per page. There are probably about fifty more that I haven't included for various reasons, usually lack of ISBN and lack of time to build the records from scratch.

3. What is the most awkward situation your Tourette's has ever landed you?

Good question.

The best one I can think of right now was during a college Shakespeare class. For our final project (the Professor believed in diversified teaching methods) we actually had to find partners and act out a scene from one of Shakey's plays. I think I was 18 or 19 at the time, and had only been diagnosed with Tourette's at age 17. As such, my medication was still being adjusted, and I wasn't on a particularly good one.

One very odd thing about TS is that everybody seems to have something that they can do just fine, even when their symptoms are bad. There are pro basketball players with it and even neurosurgeons. Some part of our brain manages to shut off the ticcing while we're doing that thing. One of those things, for me, is acting or public speaking, so I figured I'd be cool that night.

The event was held at a professor’s house, where he didn’t ask how old you were if you grabbed a beer. I’d had a bad day with Tourette’s all day but now it was beyond bad. I couldn’t speak to him or classmates, the words just wouldn’t come out. I couldn’t stop my hip spasms and my head was jerking back and to the right nonstop. I felt like the most ridiculous spastic ever. And for once, performing the scene only killed about half or two-thirds of my symptoms. And as soon as I was done? Back again.

Spent all semester looking forward to this night, and I couldn’t talk to people or even sit next to them for fear of making them uncomfortable.

4. What is the funniest situation your Tourette's has ever landed you?

It’s done a lot of things, but not many of them are traditional sort of funny. One of my favorites, though, is how Sara and I used to have an antique bread plate on our bathroom sink, and we put our bar of soap on it. I really dislike soap scum leftover stuff that you always get under a bar, so I decided to use some hot water to scrub the soap off.

Halfway through the washing my right hand decided that the best course of action would be to, sans warning, throw the plate like a Frisbee into the bathtub, where it broke into four pieces.

We left the four pieces on the sink to repair them later. A week after that, I knocked something out of the cabinet and it fell on the pieces, multiplying their total by about ten. Sara wouldn’t let me blame that one on Tourette’s. J

5. Tell me the story of Ben and Sara (how you met through the wedding)

In a weird way that only I would decide to do it...

Invited to the residence hall cafeteria by friend Clarissa to meet her friends Jennifer Keene and Sara Gorecki, then they asked me to come by their room a day or two later, then we talked for hours, then I realized that the cool Bohemian girl was the same girl that I’d always identified in the hallways as “The Girl With The Hats Who’s Always Smiling,” then we did some more hanging out, then I wouldn’t do anything too heavy with her because she was drunk on Blackberry Schnapps, and she got me to smoke cloves, which led me to smoke regular cigarettes, but I didn't care, and then she came and visited me over the summer in a house with no air conditioning during a VERY hot summer and we had one of those kinda-mostly-break-up things but when we realized that we were talking to each other on the phone for so long that she'd start falling asleep but not wanting to hang up it was cool and we totally got together again, then I stayed in the residence hall but she moved into an apartment with Clarissa and friend Jaime and then I stayed there mostly with her and cleaned their dishes and I stayed up late with her while she did her art projects and oh I forgot that our first date was seeing BRAIN CANDY in the now-gone Co-Ed Theatre, and that I asked her if I could kiss her after we watched WILLY WONKA on the dorm bed, so then I sublet her apartment from her over the summer, and then we moved into an apartment with Clarissa, and we were in the same bedroom because we’re sinners, and then she got me a cat called Isis and the cat had been taken away from her mother at about 2 weeks, maybe less, and then shut in a closet a lot by her first owner’s roommates, so she grew up a bit weird, and Sara didn't like cats, so she said she wouldn’t clean up after cat, or feed cat, or play with cat, and that night cat fell asleep on Sara’s lap, and we could barely connect to the internet in that apartment, because it was about 1997, and I hung around places like alt.music.nin and rec.arts.drwho and we did more art and we had barbecues, and then I graduated and Sara didn’t yet because she was a year behind me and we lived in a shotgun apartment and realized that we had a lot of stuff, and there were roaches there but they mostly went away eventually, and it was the second place in a row where the original boiler in the building broke and it was so freaking cold, but then we moved into a cool house that had been divided into apartments, and we even fixed it up a bit, and Sara hand-painted the kitchen tile with a way cooler pattern because she’s such a kickass artist, and our bedroom had no insulation, so there was a lot of body heat stuff going on, and we were there for three years, and two of our neighbors in the building got married after meeting each other there and now they have a child and we became friends with Jay, aka the basement troll, and then after three years we decided that we’d go and do something stupid, like buy a house, because we’d already been together for so long, and we’d bought a car, and so we totally bought the cutest house ever and it turns out that there was more work needed on it than we thought, but we don’t care, and then we totally got married and I love the hell out of her and it's been eleven years together and she’s the best thing since sliced…hell, since slicing was invented.

*gasp*

Got your own questions? Ask.

b

Current Music: "Bong Le Le" - Titiman Flores

I'm answering Five More Questions.

This time, they come straight from the gullet of

xuincherguixe

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1) Who is your favourite character (out of all fiction)?

There is no right answer to this, is there?
I mean , if I say Odysseus, then people will ask "What about the Doctor?"
If I say Maude from Harold and Maude, then people will ask, "What about that dude with the stuff?"
If I say Wong Fei Hung, then people will be all "But he was a real person!"
If I say Doctor Strange, then the Dread Dormammu will try to kill my mom.

I think the answer, therefore, has to be me, until I can be proven to be non-fiction.

I dare you.

2) If you had a giant robot, what would it be like? And what would it's name be?

Right, it would be more PATLABOR than EVANGELION. More realistic, more robot-looking, more...dunno. If we're talking a Giant Robot that's controlled by me, I'd want some standard issue things, like a ridiculous helmet to wear while driving it, as well as silly-looking bright clothes. Also, I would need theme music, and the thing would always make those HMMMMM-WHRRRRRRR-CHNK! noises as it moved. I don't want no goddamned quiet WHSSSSH'ing robots. Also, it would have laser-sighted anti-ninja/pirate cannons.

Possible Names: Angus McAngus-Angus / benjamin's Giant Robot / Joe. Joe Mama / Alphonse / Super Deluxe Explodo Bonus Robot Xtreme KAWAII!

3) Is there any way to beat an RCMP Ninja? I don't think there is!

You, Sir, are wrong. See the previous question.

4)If a Nigerian Prince ever did need your help, would you believe it?

I would require proof of identification, a tour of his castle, and a detailed story of why I should help him defeat his insane evil brother.
Also, he would need to explain why his e-mail came from an internet cafe under the name TACO BEL SMITH <hotcock@nigerianeedswomen.net>

5) You can have one person run into a bus you are driving, without having to face consequences for their very messy demise. Who would you choose?

Well, I'm about as pacifist as you can get and still be a reasonable human being, so I think that the removal of consequences would have to include all the guilt on my part and maybe they could come back to life later, if I felt like it.

That having been said, today it would be...

~~Matt Lauer~~

Kim Jong-il

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Got questions? ASK.
Wanna read the others so far? DO IT.

b

FIVE QUESTIONS?

It's

iamangelachase's turn...

1. Can we ask one question now, then leave the rest for later?

See remaining four questions.

2. In trying to diagnose your illnesses/diseases/brain cesspool participants/what have you, what was discussed and/or ruled out?

One doctor once told me that I didn't have Tourette Syndrome, only myoclonus. This would only explain some of my tics, not my vocal ones, nor my compulsive repetitive behaviors, nor...well, a lot of things. This doctor also prescribed Halydol for me, hoping to deal with my depression / bipolar disorder and my ~~Tourette's~~ myoclonus at the same time. I got nearly every side effect listed, including vertigo.

You think you know what vertigo is, but until you've been walking up the stairs to your apartment and TIPPED BACKWARDS because you suddenly can't tell which direction is up? Nuh-uh.

He would later vanish from the hospital's neurology department. I received a call from them telling me that my next appointment with him was rescheduled with a new doctor. I asked where the other doctor was, and they repeated that my next appointment with him was rescheduled with a new doctor. I suspect a firing.

Oh, and some doctors have thought, off-and-on, that I have AD/HD, functional schizophrenia (?!?!), functional autism, and they've always gone back and forth between acute depression and bipolar disorder.

3. What would you most like to find in a gas station restroom's vending machine?

A gold-plated piece of poop. It would be a fantastic test of greed vs. OCD.

4. What's the most interesting place you've lived in?

Well, to date, I've lived in: Sullivan, Illinois; Champaign, Illinois; Urbana, Illinois; Maplewood, Missouri; St. Louis, Missouri; Clayton, Missouri; Dunedin, Florida; Tampa, Florida; Clearwater, Florida; Fort Walton Beach, Florida; Orlando, Florida; and a few others, vaguely...

It's hard to say which was the most interesting, as I've many stories from each, but I think that today I'll choose the house in Blackjack, Missouri, that we briefly lived in while our house was being renovated. My mother and stepfather rented the place empty semi-furnished and shortly thereafter made very strange discoveries.

There were no less than THREE peepholes into other rooms, several of which looked into the guest bedroom. One was a bit of drywall in the back of a closet that could be folded down, allowing you to look through a hole above an electrical socket in the guest bedroom. The hole was at the perfect level to observe the top of the bed. Another one that looked into the room was behind a mirror on the wall, which was two-sided. Its other side was hidden in another room behind a piece of wood in a closet that had coathooks on it.

Weird place.

806 W. Oregon, Urbana, IL, probably wins overall, but...well, it deserves its own entries, which it's already had.

5. Why doesn't Sara have a journal so we can hear her side of the story?

I've asked her a number of times, but she's never really had a solid answer. She's not much of an interwebs person, and I wonder how much time she'd really spend on it. If you want to ask her, though, send me an e-mail at moxy att tmbg dott org and I'll forward it on to her.
If you don't want me to read the message, send it as a Word attachment and I promise I won't read it. :)

NEXT!

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Got five questions for me? Ask in the comments. All sets will be answered, each in their own entry.
Previous Five Questions can be found by clicking on the link at the top of this entry or on the Five Questions tag on this entry

Current Music: WBUR, 90.9fm, Boston Public Radio (online stream)

Current Location: In front of a toasty fire
Current Music: LOST

Right, so, that whole Five Questions thingie?

iworkinasaloon is next, and his fucking band question took me about 300 years to answer.

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1. What do you think about this: http://www.pornotube.com/media.php?m=38292 (i don't blame you for not clicking it. Just don't.)

I am--unsurprisingly, for those who know me--not really disturbed by these things. Here's the deal: I figure that, since time began, guys have been putting their cocks in anything that looks like it might or might not move and women have been putting inside of themselves that look like they may or may not move.

Sure, this one's a touch more fucked-up than most things, but worse things have been done for pleasure instead of money.
And here is where somebody chimes in and says "But what if they're exploiting that woman? What if she has no money, and they're paying her thirty bucks to do this just so she can get her next rock of crack?" I hate to sound flip, but what if she's not? What if she's making a lot of money to do this? What if she likes it? What if she's repulsed by it but "Damn, that's a lot of fucking money for something that will be over relatively quickly?" If you've ever watched porn or looked at porn online or what have you--and by IF I mean WHEN--don't tell me you haven't seen women who look like they're drunk/drugged out of their fucking mind while their boyfriend takes digital pics of her with his cock in her. On a very basic level, I'm more repulsed by that because it's PLAIN AND CLEAR that the person in that is not in control of their emotions/actions, and might be getting a thrill from something they'll later regret, IF ONLY because it might end up online.

Without context, it's foolish to assume what is going on with that woman.

Moral of the story: No, it doesn't turn me on, but if it does you? Fucking wank away, my friend, wank away.

2. Butter or margerine, and why?

Well, butter is pretty much a better taste, but sometimes you want that yellowy-plastic taste, you know?
Oh, and margarine spreads better when you're dealing with soft bread and cold butter.

3. Name five of your favorite bands. Why do you like them?

Right, I'm talking bands AND solo acts here. Want to laugh at me about any of them? Go for it. You've got yours, too, and you know it. Only difference is that I won't apologize for any of mine.

THE POGUES: Not your everyday, average drunken Irish band, right? I mean, sure they've got the requisite songs about drinking and gambling, but you listen to "Fairytale of New York" late at night with a bottle of whiskey in your hand and tell me that's not fucking magic righ there. Yeah, they've got a bit of a depressing history, what with Shane McGowan's self-destructive lifestyle and all, but...dunno, doesn't that sometimes add a sort of twisted humanity to something that's already great from a musical standpoint?

They're not just a drinking band, as some people have reduced them to, they're fucking Irish-English-rock/punk. They're political, they're celebratory, they're fucking out of their heads. The number of bands they've influenced, and this remarkable sub-genre that they founded...just amazing.

Start with the album IF I SHOULD FALL FROM GRACE WITH GOD. If you don't like it, you won't like them. RUM, SODOMY, AND THE LASH is what I'd go to next. Already know them? Try watching IF I SHOULD FALL FROM GRACE..., a documentary about McGowan. Have tissues ready.

PET SHOP BOYS:

Perfected pop, that's what these bastards have done. About half of you out there will say "Didn't they have a hit song in the 80's?" About one-quarter of you will say "They're still around, sure, but nobody listens to them." The rest will either something or something else.
Look, it's easy to dismiss them as simple dancepop, but if you ever stop to listen to the lyrics, you'll find something else. No, not every song is a lyrical masterpiece, or a musical accomplishment, but they've put out some incredible stuff over the years. Perspective? In the past twenty years they've had forty songs in the top thirty of the UK charts and four number ones.

Neil Tennant has a fantastic voice--even after twenty-some years of singing--and Chris Lowe is an amazing musician. And he's got perfect pitch. You listen to some of their songs and think "Yay, dance!" and you listen to others and you think, "Yay, pop!" and you listen to others and you think "Yay...wait, is this a happy-sounding song that's really about life as a gay man over the years of the AIDS epidemic? Jesus..."

Want to try their early stuff, go for ACTUALLY (1987): Great pop, great ballads, great lyrics when you listen.
Early nineties? VERY, often considered their most important album, since it's got lots of songs addressing homosexual topics, and Tennant came out immediately after it's release.
Latinish-dancy with great lyrics? BILINGUAL.
Most recent and almost entirely political? FUNDAMENTAL

COWBOY JUNKIES:

You've only ever heard "Sweet Jane," right? Or maybe "Me and the Devil Blues?" Yeah, you've heard them, but unless you're already a fan, you've only heard some of their soundtrack songs.

Rectify this immediately.

I don't know what the hell to describe them as. They're not country, they're not rock, but they're both. One moment haunting, the next uplifting, the next really fucking haunting, they defy convention whenever possible. Sweet fuck, they're difficult as hell to describe.

Look, go buy BLACK EYED MAN. If you don't like it, I'll mail you something. I promise that it won't be an envelope full of poop. Or at least, it won't all be poop.

THE PIXIES:

If I could only listen to one album for the rest of my life, DOOLITTLE would make the short list, no questions asked. Frank Black's indescribable vocal sound, Kim Deal's SOLID FUCKING ROCK, a kind of music that is--as with many bands I like--clearly made of many different genres, but not able to be nailed-down as any single one.

It's harder for me to break-down the Pixies as well as I can other bands, as their music really needs to speak for itself.

I think I want to die as the Pogues sing "Fairytale of New York" and have my death be quickly followed by the Pixies singing "Wave of Mutilation."

THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS:

The two Johns--Linnell and Flansburgh--have been playing together for about 24 years now, and they change and stay the same with every album they release. Sure, they're a good bit of fun, but they're accomplished musicians and brilliantly twisted lyricists as well. To dismiss them, off-hand, as being a novelty act is something that is usually done by somebody who's judging them by the three songs of theirs that you've heard on the radio.

Yeah, songs like "Dig My Grave," a 60 second heavy-metal song about...umm...death, I guess, are off-the-cuff little things, but "Ana Ng" and "Don't Let's Start" throw me into Awesome Mode every time I hear them. And they're not just a great band, they're great performers. Making up songs on the spot, adapting their show for the venue, doing a series of improved songs in which they did one for each of the Planet of the Apes movies and then hiding them on the end of an album.

Christmas album? Yes. But it also sings about Chkahnnukhaha and their first album has a song about a guy's wife cheating on him with their friend who dresses like Santa every year.

Start where you should, with their first album, self-titled and sometimes called "The Pink Album" and then go to their second, "LINCOLN," and then hit their best-known, and some people will argue their best, album FLOOD

DO it.

4. Whats up with the internet? Seriously?

It's amazing, isn't it? I love living in the future. Playing with the internet is like looking inside my own brain. Terrifying and brilliant and insane and magnificent and IS THAT A FUCKING EEL?!

5. What's your favorite food?

Don't have one, as such, but I'll give you a quick list: kimchi, properly-made Chinese fried rice, thick-slab pork chops, kohlrabi, whiskey, cheese, unagi, umm...yeah, basically anything that isn't a tomato.

luzclarita is up next on THE FIVE QUESTIONS THING:

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1. DCC or LCC?

DCC, no question.

First of all, the nostalgia factor comes into play. I've lived with DCC my whole life, and it's a like a special library code for me.
Second, there's the fact that I've got so much of it memorized.
Most importantly, though, I think it's both practical AND fun. LCC is a little to academia-based, with huge areas for history and the like, but smaller areas for arts, et al. Not to mention that it only gets updated every so often, and that each classification is done by a different group of people.

To me, DCC just makes more linear sense, which is contrary to what most think. I like following the occasionally ridiculously long trail of numbers to get what I want. Also, there seems to be more fun in browsing DCC than LCC.

Finally? LCC ain't go NOTHING on things like 791.4372On122co. That's the call number for the DVD of On the Waterfront.
No significance, but look at the magnificence of that call no. It would only be better if it had v.2 cop.2 at the end. :)

2. What do you call your parents? Like you have nicknames for your wife, do you call your parents anything and how do they respond?

The most frequent ones are Mama and Papa. Not said in any sort of southern drawl way (i.e. Maw-maw or Paw).
Originally Mama was Mom, which became Ma after that's how she started to refer to herself.
Originally Papa was Dad, but never Father or Pa or anything like that.

I sometimes wonder if my OCD/Tourettes desire for words to "sound right" led to Mama and Papa. Sometimes they're even Mama-mama or Papa-papa. It's something in the rhythm, right?

When calling them, I usually say "Is this my mama?" or "Papa, is that you?" It's just kinda fun, you know?

For my stepfather, he's always been Uncle Natey, or occasionally Nate #1. His son is Nathan, jr., so he is--of couse--Nate 1000 to me.
It's a confusing story that even I don't understand, but eventually I decided that if Nathan was the father, and he was #1, then his son Nathan would be 1000, kinda like the Terminators, you know?

For my stepmother, she's Sandy. My father originally tried to ease in "Mom 2" and then eventually dropped the 2 and just calls her Mom.
I originally fought that, but I've long since decided that he can call her whatever he wants in reference to me. He can say "Ask your mom what she thinks," and I'll call out "Hey, Sandy? Dad wants to know if eating an entire chicken in 45 minutes is a bad idea."

3. If you were secret emperor of the world, how would you make it better? That is, if you could dictate the actions of world governments, flow of money etc. what would you like to see happen?

Ugh. I hate questions like this. I could write books on this, but how about I keep things relatively simple?

Money?
Absolve the debt of all "third world" countries. They're never going to get out of the holes that both they AND the rest of the world have dug them into, and to believe otherwise is silly and politically-motivated. Simplistic, sure, but that's how I'm keeping all of my answers here.
Oddly, I'm also in favor of an incredibly well-thought-out flat tax...kinda. The current systems punishes the wrong people and rewards the wrong people.

Conflict?
Let's start by cutting Africa a fucking break already. It went through CENTURIES of its people being picked-up for slavery and being brought under "benevolent" colonial rule. Now the rest of the world is trying to force democracy on a continent that still functions on a tribal level. That's a silly thing to do. Work with people how they are, don't try to mold them into what we think would be best and then get stunned when it doesn't work.

Also, fucking drop the egos when it comes to talking to Iran and N.Korea and even fucking Russia. It's not about who has the longer cock or who has the tighter vagina. It's about THE ENTIRE FUCKING HUMAN RACE AND ALL OTHER LIFE ON THIS PLANET NOT BEING DESTROYED. N.Korea wants two party talks? Find out why. But more importantly, DO IT, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE ORIGINALLY FUCKING PROMISED THEM. Iran fucking hates us? Makes sense. Their leader, however, is batshit, and Lao Tzu taught that when dealing with madmen, one must occasionally act like a madman. I'm not saying embrace his "THERE WAS NO HOLOCAUST!" viewpoint, but approaching certain topics with the American point of view only, with only our interests in mind? It's no wonder we can't do it.

Last one, and pretty contentious? No death penalty. Anywhere. If people somewhere say that they demand it, then here's how it goes down. All men, women, and children are given lottery numbers when it's time to execute somebody. Everybody 5 and older will be eligible. The condemned person will be tied tightly to a thick pole in the ground. The people chosen for the lottery--maybe five or six people--will be given one-inch pine dowel rods and must beat the person to death. They are not allowed to slow down or rest until the person is dead. Since one-inch pine splinters sometimes, you'll have to get a new one if yours breaks, or use the shorter piece. No stabbing from a distance, only actual blows to the body. Then you leave the body RIGHT THERE, UNTOUCHED for a week.

Think that might teach people a bit better lesson than 14 years of appeals and the vague concept of a gas chamber? Maybe.
Think that might teach people what it really means for society to punish another human being with their death? Hell. Fucking. Yeah.

4. Kids or no kids? Why?

Brutal question for me. I'm a cesspool of neurological disorders. If I have a male child, 50%-plus chance that he'll have Tourette's. Lower for a girl, but still...add to that bipolar disorder and OCD and who knows what else? A pretty strong argument can be made that I should never have children.

Adoption=always an option.
Artificial insemination=less of an option, to me, just because.

If a child somehow, probably just one, two MAXIMUM, but likely just the one.

But yeah, I wouldn't object to a child. I wouldn't even objection to a "natural" child, because I'd be here for it, to help it as much as is humanly possible, from day one, to help it play whatever hand it's dealt.

I love kids, and I like to think I'd be okay at the whole father thing.

5. Do you ever feel bad about yourself even though you know you're awesome? Like sometimes I feel like a jerk even though I know I'm not etc.

Are you fucking kidding me? That's like asking....umm...something if it's...something.

Not looking for pity on this one, nor do I want a bunch of responses contradicting me, but with the way my brain works and the way it sees me?

The best way I can explain it is that yes, I see what you're saying when you say something nice, I just see the other bad things at the same time. And I may not even AGREE with the things you're telling me.

I take your opinions into consideration, how's that?

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Want to ask me five questions? Do so in the comments section here. Every set will be answered in a separate post.
Check previous Five Questions things by clicking up top or on the "five questions" tag below. I'll answer very damn near any question you ask--I've no shame or embarassment--but some question will be omitted if they might cause mental discomfort to others involved in the answers. :)

Current Location: 712 S. Anderson, Urbana, IL, 61801
Current Music: "Waiting for a Train" - Jimmy Rogers

Ugh. Still don't feel entirely awake. Wish I'd slept more. Glad I have tomorrow off.

As such, I'll be doing a relatively easy (sorry,

g0dz17la ) Five Questions thingie this time.

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1.) Who's stronger Thor or the Hulk?

Believe it or not, I've always loved this question and have contemplated it a number of times. Here's the way I break it down:

Being a God doesn't necessarily mean that you're the strongest motherfucker that there is. Being the Norse God of Asskickery means you're off to a good start.

Hulk? He's just the strongest mortal, right? We say that like it's a limitation of some sort.

See, I always figured that pound-for-pound, Hulk would win in a regular fight because...wait for it...using a mystical, indestructible hammer is a cheap way to win. You take that away from Goldilocks? I figure that Thor would pull the upper hand--and being a God, wouldn't do a lot of tiring--but that as time went by and Hulk got madder, the tide would start turning as the big green guy started really laying into the God of Thunder.

Or, if you want Thor to keep his hammer, let Hulk have Cap's shield. :)

2.) Which online Orkut or LJ person would you want to meet most in real life?

Jesus, like that isn't putting me on the spot. Now anybody who isn't picked is going to fucking hate me.
Allow me to break it down a bit, after saying that I Want To Meet All of Them At Once At a Massive Party.

Orkut: Person I'd like to meet the most after years of helpful emotional attachment is easily Tat. She and I each helped the other through some stumbling times.

Orkut: Person I'd most like to party with? You and yer girl. The world would never recover.

LJ: First, gotta meet

man_size, as he's already helped my fledgling comic career more than I could have ever hoped.

LJ: Second...Jesus, this is a tough one...party for a week in Antarctica with

funranium , then get an apartment with

bobo_dreams and allow our Geekness to overtake the world.

Overall winner?

fairyarmadillo. I've known her online for about thirteen years now, and the fact that we've never been able to meet is a fucking crime. It makes me sad to think about it.

3.) What's your favorite day of the year?

Usually Halloween. I've only ever not dressed-up ONCE in my life, and that year was only because we were driving hundreds of miles.
It's such a great day, and seeing other insane people dressed up is great. Scary movies and societal permission to dress like I'm batshit? PERFECT!

4.) What was your least favorite comic book plot cop-out (ie: dead hero not dead anymore)?

Most Recent: Captain America surrendering at the end of the Marvel Civil War. Don't tell me one of the world's premier tactical geniuses didn't think that a big-ass fuckoff fight in downtown New York wouldn't happen. I actually liked most of Civil War--especially if you include Paul Jenkins's Front Line--but to let it fizz out RIGHT when it should bang? Silly.

Of all time? Tough call, but I'm going with when they undid practically every beautiful thing--from Xorn, to Magneto's end, to Phoenix--that Grant Morrison did during his magnificent NEW X-MEN run.

5.) If we came to visit what would we do?

We'd party. Not silly nonstop drinking party--although there would be at least one night of that, where we'd all wake up on the living room floor half-naked and covered in something sticky--but doing every imaginable fun thing that we could. We'd take you to Allerton Park, then we'd eat at Milo's, maybe? We'd hit El Charro one day for the best Mexican food in Illinois, then probably go see something at The Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, then we'd have all of our friends meet you guys, and then there'd be a pool party with Anne and Bob at Joe and Bethany's and then drive through miniscule towns in the countryside, and...

You'd go home with your bodies exhausted and your souls fulfilled.

---------
Got Five Questions? Ask.
---------

b

Current Music: http://205.234.188.21:80 (WBUR, Boston NPR)

Right,

ericfmyers is up next on my Five Questions Thingie:

---------

1. How come Godzilla never attacked Chicago?

Well, motherfucker is an amphibian, right? So from a purely practical view, that's a lot of goddamned land to walk across.
Let's say he comes ashore at Colonial Beach, Virginia--which seems to be his best landing area, if he wants to avoid D.C.--and heads straight to Chi-town. That's 766 miles across PURE land.

What if the G wants to get some water in there. Comes ashore at Bridgeport, Connecticut and heads to Buffalo, New York and does some swimming/walking until Detroit. Then it's two hundred miles worth of land from Detroit to Chicago.

Not worth Godzilla's time.

2. If the "birds and the bees" where supposed to teach us about sex, where does the penis and vagina come in at?

The penis comes in at the vagina.

3. Did John Wilkes Booth act alone or was he part of a larger conspiracy?

Conspiracy. It's clear that he had assistance to prepare for the ordeal and the subsequent escape, however bungled it may have been by his ill-conceived jump. Still, they should have left the doctor out of it. What was he gonna do, NOT help Booth and get shot?

Anyway, he had help, but probably no more than most assassins have. I mean, John Hinkley, Jr, nearly managed to off Reagan by himself and he was batshit and lived in modern times. Booth had help but didn't need much.

4. If the human race could organize and time our jumps just right, could we avoid all asteroid collisions in the future?

Yes, by tearing the Earth out of its orbit and plunging it either towards the sun or into deep space. But, hey, at least those options would both buy us a little more time, right?

5. Our senses feed the brain second hand information. Does this mean that life is just another part of our imagination?

I consider our brains to be the most unreliable narrators possible, so I'm firm believer that a lot of what we see could be either wrong or adapted by each of our brains to process as it sees fit.

Ignoring the usual "How do you know that what you call brown is the same as what I call brown" and "If I'm the only one who knows he's thinking, how do I know that you're not all figments of my imagination?" arguments, there's still a lot to be said for what's "real."

Even on the most basic level, the moment I see anything, my brain responds to it in a particularly way, like "light is bright" or "snow is cold" or "Harold and Maude is sad." The assignation of states-of-being or emotional responses to each item we see--not to mention how often those responses change--means that our brain cannot be trusted to feed us a steady stream of trustworthy imformation. Indeed, the same thing may register differently from one day to the next.

As such, yeah. I think everything we see is, at bare minimum, tweaked by what we feel and what we think we know and what we don't know, which is close enough to imagination.

Now shush, I'm disbelieving you.

---------

Got questions? Ask

Current Music: "Champagne and Reefer" - Muddy Waters

Oddly, we're going to start with

michtrebies on my Five Questions Thingie:

---------

1 God or no God.

That's a rough one, which is why I'm starting with it. God? Not as such, no. While some will not be stunned and...well, probably fewer will be stunned, I'm not a believer. Sure, I figure that Jesus was probably a kickass guy, but...blind faith is so strange. Please don't think of that as me knocking any faith you may have. That would be rude on both of our parts.

I believe in more than just the self and the table in front of me, but not like one would think. I believe in the inherent power of concepts. I believe in the energy behind belief, if that makes sense. I believe that people believing in Jesus gives that concept power, which fuels other things, but I also believe that people can manipulate that on a personal scale. I'm in Grant Morrison's camp of people being able to manipulate reality on the quantum level ON THEIR OWN. Law of conservation of energy, sure. But...man, this is such a fuzzy topic. I could talk about this for days, literally days.

I believe in the power of symbols, and beliefs, and the power inherent in concepts and in the ability of the individual to change the course of the population from the privacy of their own home. There are connection that...aw, hell, I need whiskey. Summation? No.

2 Marvel vs Dc.

Howsabout we split the difference? I was raised on Marvel--first comic that I remember reading and loving was Dr. Strange, v.1, #12.--but I also read DC at the same time.

I like to view the two as I often did when growing up. When I want slam-bang HOLY SHIT fighting, I want Marvel.
If I want a more-involved, and sometimes slower, story, then I hit D.C. Yeah, Superman is a motherfucker, but it's hard to make a punchout fight with him that isn't forced. Stories that take him outside of that--while still preserving that aspect--work really well. Just the same, I love seeing Spider-Man fight the new Sinister Six for SIX ISSUES STRAIGHT under Erik Larsen, but...well, Kraven's Last Hunt was pretty damned good, too.

It depends on who's writing and what mood I'm in.

And whether or not it's the nineties.

Summation: Only one forever? Make Mine Marvel

3. Why do hurt the ones we love.

How can we have one of the two strongest emotions without the other? To think that love can come without hate, which brings pain, is naive and dangerous.

Love is incredible, but as I recently discussed with somebody whose name escapes me, how could you really love somebody who didn't, on occasion, infuriate you?

I couldn't.

4. Super power you always wanted.

This will peg me, 100%, as the geek I really am, but I want Doug "Cypher" Ramsey's powers. Look him up, you Philistines.
Can you imagine speaking to any people, going to any country, picking up any book, and knowing EXACTLY what's going on, nuances included? The ability to read / speak / understand any language you encounter would be the most spectacular thing I could possibly imagine.

Books. Culture. People. All there to hear. Astonishing.

5. Your own reality show, what would it be. You can be outside the box.

Cancelled before its first episode airs.

I hate that shit.

---------

Got Questions? ASK.

Current Location: In front of a fire
Current Music: 20/20 thingie on memory

Everybody loves the whole "ASK ME FIVE QUESTIONS" memething.

So go for it. Ask me five questions.

About anything. Anything about me, or what I do, or what I love, or who I am, or why the shit I have a copy of the comic Lady Cop on my wall, or how I justify demanding that Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn be made available on DVD, or why I own so many goddamned books, or what I'd do if they took away my Tourette's.

I'll get to everybody's questions in time--not necessarily in order of arrival, and it will take a little while. Each set will be answered in a separate post. Each post will end with an invitation for more questions. You each only get the five, though...make 'em count.

Bring it. And bring your friends.

Get ready, True Believer, because everything you thought you knew about benjamin...WAS WRONG!

b
Ready to eat a pizza and watch Jesus Camp with his ladywife

Current Location: 712 S. Anderson, Urbana, IL, 61801
Current Music: "Passion of the Great Snatch" podcast by city_of_dis

Some of you have been asking for a Things I Can't Draw for a while now. SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?!

A little while ago

dryponder started a Draw Supergirl Meme, much like the Batgirl one that I participated in.
Completely independently, I did a Dr. Strange one for

zegas 's birthday and a Thing one for

man_size but this one really WINS the MOTHERFUCKING AWARD.

Anyway, here's the horror:

( Holy Shit. This is...wow...this is...oh fuck, benjamin... )

Current Location: Room 7A: The Cage
Current Music: "Nixon's the One" - Mono Puff

( Sheep )

froborr_dwiggy wins today's internet:

I think this meme has gone on long enough. Time to end it once and for all.

Chuck Norris Fact #All of Them:

Chuck Norris is Paul Bunyan."

Now go read my story from this afternoon.

It's time for BATGIRL MEME 2006, as started by

himynameisjamie!!!

Go participate, even if you can't draw.

Like me.

benjamin

PS - Both a Sir Reginald and another story are ruminating in my...stomach, I guess, since that's where ruminating happens.

To contribute to the tiny Hulk With No Arms meme, I drew the following:

Join in, it's the right thing to do.

Remember, I only share these things because I ~~want stuff from~~ love you.

b

Well, it's been about six months, time to participate in a meme, yoinked from

nhyrvana who stole it from

funranium

It's rather an interesting one, though, and I welcome feedback / participation.
No goddamned "tagging" of people by me, though.

------------

Name a CD you own that you think no-one else on your friendslist does:
I Love U OK? by Leon Lai

Name a book you own that you think no-one else on your friendslist does:
Hui-hsien mien mao pien, ken pen tsai lu hsien {Carrying out the correct party line, brings a new look to Hui-hsien County} - by the government of the People's Republic of China

Name a movie you own on DVD/VHS/whatever that you think no-one else on your friendslist does:
Shao Lin Kung-Fu Mystagogue

Name a place that you have visited that you think no-one else on your friendslist has:
The Iverson Snowshoe Factory

Name a piece of technology or tool you own that you think no-one else on your friendslist has:
Zenith CruisePAD

b

A meme that's actually worth its weight in spit. Spread the word:

From

baconistasty, a meme-gift for his girl:

Ok, I have a request for my friends page. My girlfriend, Melanie, has her birthday tomorrow (Thursday), and for her gift I made her a sketchbook. However, she mentioned the other day that she wanted to start her own meme like the Batgirl one (well, actually, like my friend say_no_to_jon, who did his "Draw Andrew" meme), and have different people draw her. So, I thought that I could get some artists to draw a portrait of her, and put them in this sketchbook. However, it'd be really great if anyone reading this could do their own version.

So, if you would be so kind as to draw a picture of her with the below links for reference, I will link back to wherever you'd like me to, and I'll draw anything you want (well, within reason...). I know, not much to offer, but it is all I have. You also get to help me make an awesome gift? I want to paste these in the journal, so unless you can give me the drawings personally (a few of you?), if you could email me at mhieggelke@gmail.com with a high resolution version of it, that would be awesome! Any drawings are great!! Tell your friends! Anyway, one more thing: although I'm pretty sure she wouldn't see them, if you could not post your drawings anywhere but this post or my email until the weekend, I would be so grateful. I want to keep this a surprise.

Thanks internet pals! I don't think this'll get too big, but I can hope, right?

Photo reference:
Graduation Pics and short hair (older pictures): http://mcarson.myphotoalbum.com/view_album.php?set_albumName=album03

More recent pictures (closer to her current hair), but right after she got hit by a car: http://meikochan.myphotoalbum.com/view_album.php?set_albumName=album06

UPDATE: Thanks, Laura, for reminding me of the Melanie's mouse self-portraits! You can find a comic featuring her here: http://meikochan.livejournal.com/46532.html#cutid1

b

( Hate memes, but love music-related shit and random fortune-telling. It's like the I-Ching on Shuffle. )

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Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

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