Who knew that a few posts about Creepy Photoshop Lady would provide so many entries of pure entertainment? Not I. And now...

TWO PEOPLE HAVE KICKED THE ASS OF EVERYTHING FOR ME!

Heh.


Life, it keeps getting better.

Part One:

A few months ago Lovely Wife Sara convinced me to watch a movie she loved as a child that had just come out on DVD, a movie called Savannah Smiles. I asked Geoff at That's Rentertainment -- best video store EVAR -- if he was getting it in, and he said he would call me when it arrived.

He did, we watched it, and I cried like a little girl at this children's movie about bank robbers who accidentally kidnap the Cutest Child Ever.

Anyway, when the tears ended, I took a photo of myself. If you think this is bad, you should see how ugly I am when I'm actually in the process of crying:



Yesterday Belgian artist [profile] grafunkel   was inspired by the last few days worth of photos and did me up right proper-like.


And if you missed it, you'd better see what [profile] pyrotech_c3h8  did for me at the same time, complete independently.

PART TWO:
---------

"Well Ben, thanks to your post about photo retouching services, I decided to try my hand at it, and I think mine came out pretty well. I thought it only fitting that I take a picture of you for inspiration!

First, I started with this picture



I thought I could even it out a bit and I was pretty pleased with the results. Now THIS is the type of picture you mail home to your parents in a Christmas card motherfuckers!"


------------
Now jump on their LJ's like they're sweet, round, perfect booties with the word TAP tattooed on one cheek and ME on the other.

Smooches,

b

PS - Special thanks to [profile] wigu, without whom none of this would have been possible. He probably would like you to mail him some beer.
TO: PageantPhotos@aol.com
SUBJECT: Question regarding retouching a photo...
BODY:

If my child is black, can you make them look less black?
Oh, sorry, I see an example of that on your website now.

You call these pageant photos, so I wonder if the kids are turned away at the contests for not looking like their picture?

Also, where did you learn your photoshopping skills, prison?

Finally, what's wrong with letting people--particularly young children--simply be happy with what they look like, instead of being turned into creepy porcelain doll things?

Thank you in advance for your prompt answers to my questions.

Sincerely,

Benjamin Stone
What's that? A delightful follow-up to yesterday's photoshopping lady with possibly the worst one I could find on her site?

OKAY!!!

Question: What's wrong with this child?





I want to go back to bed.

b

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