Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

pyrotech_c3h8 is not for everybody.

He's for people with a sense of humor.

And people who aren't easily offended, even when he's talking about you.

That having been said, I laughed so hard at his post about being vegan that I involuntarily peed all over everything in sight.

Again I warn you, if you take everything too damned seriously, don't read his entry. For example, I can make fun of myself for being a fat-bellied spastic with a memory like a thing that...doesn't...remember stuff. And I can take other people joking about it.

If you can't do this, then NEVER TOUCH HIS JOURNAL.

If you can, then get the shit over there.

b

Who knew that a few posts about Creepy Photoshop Lady would provide so many entries of pure entertainment? Not I. And now...

TWO PEOPLE HAVE KICKED THE ASS OF EVERYTHING FOR ME!

Heh.


Life, it keeps getting better.

Part One:

A few months ago Lovely Wife Sara convinced me to watch a movie she loved as a child that had just come out on DVD, a movie called Savannah Smiles. I asked Geoff at That's Rentertainment -- best video store EVAR -- if he was getting it in, and he said he would call me when it arrived.

He did, we watched it, and I cried like a little girl at this children's movie about bank robbers who accidentally kidnap the Cutest Child Ever.

Anyway, when the tears ended, I took a photo of myself. If you think this is bad, you should see how ugly I am when I'm actually in the process of crying:



Yesterday Belgian artist grafunkel   was inspired by the last few days worth of photos and did me up right proper-like.


And if you missed it, you'd better see what pyrotech_c3h8  did for me at the same time, complete independently.

PART TWO:
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"Well Ben, thanks to your post about photo retouching services, I decided to try my hand at it, and I think mine came out pretty well. I thought it only fitting that I take a picture of you for inspiration!

First, I started with this picture



I thought I could even it out a bit and I was pretty pleased with the results. Now THIS is the type of picture you mail home to your parents in a Christmas card motherfuckers!"


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Now jump on their LJ's like they're sweet, round, perfect booties with the word TAP tattooed on one cheek and ME on the other.

Smooches,

b

PS - Special thanks to wigu, without whom none of this would have been possible. He probably would like you to mail him some beer.