Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

Dear Monkeys,

I have a Fuckbrain Comix, but life decided it didn't really want me to have time to ink it this week. If I'm lucky, I'll have it up Monday morning. Also, everybody gets free donuts forever.

I'm also prepping some new Photos Of My Life and some other stuff.

In the mean time, here's today's quote:

"The doormat had already floated into the bedroom closet, accompanied by a rogue pizza box," - lafinjack

Also, here are slipmesomething's Five Questions:

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1. What is your favourite story (from your life or of those close to you) to tell to others.

Either the "Prince of France" story or the "Why You Better Pay Your Fucking Bill at Mykonos" story.

OH, you wanted the actual story? Well, I'll get on that.

I also love retelling myths to people, but it has to be seen/heard in person, as I kinda colloquialize them, and move around a lot, and swear.

"So Zeus is all, 'Shit, Acrisius, you think you can hide that fine piece o' ass you call your daughter in a box?' So then the motherfucker turns into a golden shower to get into the box. Yep. A golden shower. One that gets her pregnant. Yeah, I know, watersports aren't supposed to be able to do that, but it's Zeus, you know? Guy was so virile his shit probably impregnated his toilet."

2. Have you ever been in a situation and found yourself thinking "this is weird/surreal?." What was it? tell us the most bizarre.

I once had sex with Jackie Onassis, but it wasn't really my fault, and I was like, 13 or something, so I don't remember too well.

Instead let's go with...jeez, there are a lot to choose from. I'm shit at remembering most things in my life, but the most ridiculous things stick with me forever. I can even tell you, if you grab one, where I got a particular comic, or what I had for dinner that one night 9 years ago, but things like Where Am I and Are These My Pants? always elude me. I have loads of strange moments from my childhood, though, that I oddly remember. It's not the single most surreal, but it was odd and it gets bonus odd points for me even remembering it.

I was probably...dunno, five? six? when I went to Barbados with my mother, brothers, and aunt. I remember the exact song that a man was playing on a steel drum at one point. "Can we go down? Can we go down? Can we go down to Bridgetown Market?" I even remember the tune. I also remember walking barefoot on the massive, boulder-like chunks of coral at the beach...unless that was Bermuda, about five years later. But the part that's always stuck with me was that we were told to shuffle our feet when we were in the ocean in case there were stingrays. So I'm doing this, and from out of nowhere this guy scoops me up--I remember that he had a very hairy chest--and takes me a ways out into the ocean to show me a rock covered--COMPLETELY SWARMING--with all of these tiny little red crabs. It was fantastic and freaky and I didn't know who the guy was, and sure the rock was cool, but who the fuck are you?

I recently told my mother that I remembered this, and she was stunned that I could recall something from when I was so young. She said that she thinks the guy might have been somebody who was hitting on my aunt, I can't remember.

3. Who is your favourite "celebrity/idol/'famous person'" that you have met?

I wouldn't say he's my favorite, but Colin Baker did once pretend to choke me--hands around the neck and everything--when I was about ten. That probably wins as far as encounters go.

4. Are there any films that make you cry each time you view them?

Harold and Maude, Camille Claudel, The Crow, They Might Be Giants, Depardieu's Cyrano de Bergerac, El Norte, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Moulin Rouge, All About Lily Chou-Chou, Brokeback Mountain, Dodeskaden, Being There, Lovers of the Arctic Circle, All About My Mother, and hordes more...

Yep, I'm an enormous girl.

5. Have you ever purposefully sworn at someone then blamed it on your fuckbrain? Who was it?

Sadly, no. I've never really tried to blame anything on my Tourette's that wasn't because of my Tourette's. I have had to make people feel guilty about my Tourette's, though, like when people who haven't seen me in a while see my weird Tourette's leg thing and ask me why I'm walking like I'm crippled, or when people in theatres or buses or whatever ask me to stop moving around so much. That sort of thing.

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b

Last  night  was Saganaki Night at the Stone household. Only made THREE, but it was enough.

I learned the Magical Secrets of  Saganaki years ago while working at Mykonos. Remember my hook-hand story?
I also took all of the late Constantine "Taki" Iatropoulos's greek records when the restaurant closed, so I was playing them for the presentations.

I used Kasseri and Kofalotiri cheese and breaded them and properly spiced them and brandied them and lit them on fire.

Speaking of lit, holy crap were most of us drunk. I didn't hit DRUNK, I just wandered around the border of drunk and Drunk.

But it was fabulous, and we ate fruit and vegetables and GODDAMNED FRIED CHEESE.

Fun with Molly, Jake, and sarahsam, with whom I suspect I was separated at birth, or somesuch ridiculously cool brainwave-connection...thing.

All of them are made of awesome, and much geeking-out was done.

To reiterate: people kick ass and CHEESE on FIRE.

b