Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

As it happened a year and a half ago, so is it happening again:

My LG enV 2 is finally crapping out on me.





It doesn't entirely enjoy staying on, resulting in random power-downs.

The OK button on the front--necessary to unlock the keys--is busted.

I carry a lot of things in my pocket and am very clumsy, so it's a little...well-worn.

Probably hasn't helped that I only dial with my craggy, calloused penis.

Point is, I need a new phone.

No, I can't afford an iPhone.

Maye my max range is 100 bucksish? Definitely don't tell me anything over 200.

I use Verizon and will not be swapping carriers.

I do need a qwerty keyboard, whether on a touchscreen or fold/slide-out section. I'd love a bit of web browsability, but that's not 100% required. Chatty-twittery-stuffs would be nice, too.

So, as you did years ago, make pitches. Tell me what I need.


Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnd...


GO!