Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

A few quotes from tonight:
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Ad on TV: "What if I'm carrying your child!"
ME: "THEN PUT IT DOWN!"

ME: "I'm like Indiana Jones and Sherlock Holmes fucked and made a fat guy with short hair."
SARA (very sleepy): "Noooo...you're not faaaaaat!"

SARA: "I'm not royalty, I'm just awesome."

graymalkan wins today's QotD from his brilliant list of BLACK FACTS for Black History Month! 

"Crispus Attucks is the reason that Black people always die first in action movies."

UNRELATED:

 DRAGON WARS is simultaneously one of the WORST and one of the BEST films ever.

Seriously.

Wow.

I mean, people who claim that PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE is the worst movie ever simply HAVE NOT BEEN LOOKING VERY HARD.

It was like watching the spawn of a monster movie that was gang-banged by soap operas and David Lynch.

Thank god I wasn't in my Right Mind as I watched it.

Party movie, motherfuckers. Buy it and a case of Schlitz--or strictly medicinal herbs--and have yourself a good time.

ITEM: Lovely Wife Sara and I have planned to do a So You Don't Have To tonight! HOORAY!

QUOTES OF THE DAY SO FAR:

"My thesis adviser agreed to this time on the condition that I bring burritos to the examination.  In return, pass or fail, I am promised beer afterward."

funranium, regarding a Master's Degree Oral Boards schedule crossing into lunch hour:

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"It's like a con...con...conflict of insects."

riotmod in his comic Leave It To Jesus

"You know, I don't want squishy crickets." - Kevin Oh

"Plus, its packaging promises "vitamins" in a way that reads to me and mine like "VITAMINS NOW MOTHERFUCKER! THERE WILL BE NO MERCY!"" -- pvck

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:

" You know what Air sounds like? Like if there were gay French robots, and they made music.

That's not an insult.I love the Virgin Suicides sountrack, and Moon Safari.

There's nothing wrong with gay French robots.

That's just what they sound like, is all." -- radiumhead

TONIGHT'S SARA QUOTES:

"Booyah. That's sounds Polish. And, since I'm Polish...BOOYAH!"

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ME: "Geez, Sara, did the Mexican food take over all of your higher functions?"
HER: "Can't answer...brain...processing taco."

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ME: Are you lying?
HER: No.
ME: Are your pants on fire?
HER: Yes.
ME: So that makes you a liar...
HER: No, my pants are just on fire. It's very unfortunate.