Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

You see, I can't remember the last time I saw my mama on her birthday. She's lived in Florida since the very beginning of the 90's, and while I see her a few times a year, it hasn't been on her birthday since who knows when.

And since my Mama is THE PERSON AWESOME PEOPLE GO TO FOR BEING-AWESOME CONSULTATIONS, as well as being one of the smartest, funniest, and by far kindest people I've ever had the pleasure to know in my entire life, she's had more of an impact on who I am today than anybody else in the world. As such, I like to do something for her on her birthday. She hates getting gifts, though, so I've been doing this instead, ever since I had to telnet into my uiuc.edu account using a 14.4 modem, where I would then read my e-mail using Pine.

This year, me and my dame Nadja "fairyarmadillo" Robot will be going down to visit her and my stepfather and whatever other family members are there for Thanksgiving/my birthday, but that's a few months away, so...

PEOPLES OF THE UNIVERSE, PLEASE ATTEND CAREFULLY, AS THE MESSAGE THAT FOLLOWS IS VITAL TO THE SURVIVAL OF YOU ALL:

Her e-mail is n8annet@hotmail.com.

I don't care if you know her or not. Indeed, only a small handful of you have ever even seen her. Doesn't matter.

Take a few seconds right now and send her a birthday greeting.

It doesn't have to be anything other than "Your son sent me; Happy Birthday Annet Stein! He's batshit insane but I nice guy, I guess if you're cool with batshit insane!"

You can do it however you want, simple or complex...but don't go sending her goatse shots or I'll track you down and kick your ass so hard I'll have to open your mouth to tie my shoelaces.

Keep in the spirit of her birthday, yo.

And you know what?

Tell your friends.

Tell all of 'em. Repost this in YOUR LJ and tell people to wish my Mama a happy birthday.

No chance to do it on the 18th? Hell, who doesn't enjoy getting even late birthday wishes?

Help bust last year's 80+ birthday greetings.

Help celebrate the woman who, when it comes to me, did the absolute best with what she was given to work with. :)

Ah, and here's a photo that my little brother did for an art project he devised. You get to guess which one is my mama.



Here she is a few years back, enjoying the outdoors:



Love, and many thanks in advance,

benjamin

ericfmyers   is amazing.

See, he's doing this 50 BANJOS thing, in which he will be drawing 50 banjos. Which makes sense.
The cool part is that each one is essentially a $20 commission for a piece of his art, which he will send to you.
He's doing this to get some work done on his house such that the insurance company won't cancel his policy.
It's about 427 steps above "HAI GUYZ PAYPAL ME RENT KTHXBYE."

I shelled out my Jackson--who, incidentally, was a bad person--and told him "...draw[ing] me a banjo vaguely related to my fuckbrain would be awesome. Tourette's, OCD, bipolar, whatever. Just click on my LJ's fuckbrain tag for ideas."
Look what he made.

A fuckbrain banjo...

A fuckbanjo:




Could it possibly have been more awesome?
HINT: No.

Go help the man out and get your customized banjo art.