Dear Barnes and Noble,

Why do you feel it necessary to advertise this in your e-mail newsletter? Seriously, are you trying to cater to the cinematically retarded?

 THE MANY FACES OF EDDIE
Video/DVD. Title: Norbit

Available Now


Norbit
Eddie Murphy
Blu-ray
Our Price: $39.99

Eddie Murphy's magnificent makeup artists face their greatest challenge yet in the Blu-ray disc version of Norbit. It's available now, along with the Blu-ray debuts of the Murphy classics Trading Places and Coming to America.


* Plus: Norbit Widescreen DVD

Please to knock that shit off,

benjamin
------------------

Dear London Olympic Committee,

This looks like somebody with acromegaly giving head:



Just thought you should know. I like to think the designer did.

Yours truly,

benjamin
[profile] his_hamstress BRINGS THE HEAT in my...9th? installment of FIVE QUESTIONS:
Remember, if you have FIVE QUESTIONS for me...bring it.
---------

1. If the intarwebs were suddenly no more and being online was lost forever, how would you deal?

I'd have to buy a typewriter to replace the one that I sold a few years ago.
Preferably one of those electricalistic ones that rumbles when you turn it on.
Also, I'd just have to try a little more harder to be Internet Famous, on account of what it wouldn't be there anymore.
Also, I'd read more books.

Oh, also lots of booze and crying.

2. If you could live any place in the world after Urbana, where would you choose and why (note that this is not limited to cities and places on land)


London. It would be a place I could wander forever in.

Hong Kong, sight unseen, but I'd want to get a little bit of Cantonese in my languagebrainmeats first. It's this weirdass mystical land of awesome in my head. Back alleys, and shitty apartments, and beautiful madness. My brain already thinks I live there whenever I watch a HK film.

Friends tell me that if I ever visit New York City that I'll never come back...

3. What is the most obscure sentence that you can think of, off the top of your head?

"The flute is peanut."

4. How would you be able to handle it if you were immersed in an entire state of depervation for one week with nothing but sleep and your biggest fear?

Most likely go a bit madder than now. Perhaps I'd be okay, due to predisposition to madness.
Mind, one of my fears--probably not the biggest--is losing my memory too soon, so maybe I'd take a lot of naps, so I'd forget that I was scared of forgetting.

5. Do you know the muffin man? 

"I am the muffin man.
 Here I am and you know I can
 Love me if you let me."

February 2019

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