Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

        As if my overnight delivery of My brother Matthew’s Funny-As-All-Fuck FWMA submission was somehow not enough for you bastards.

        You see, ages ago, I dreamt of a properly-done version of The Legend of the Golden Vampires, aka The Seven Brothers Meet Dracula:

    In mine, we utilize classic superhero team-up rules: the Taoist priests and Shaolin monks battle Dracula, whilst Catholic priests go mano-a-mano against Chinese “hopping corpses.” Sadly, I know this is a project with severely limited appeal…after all, few people know what a hopping corpse looks like.

    This is them here:

            Unlike Western vampires, they’re generally the result of inauspicious burial, or disturbing of their graves, or general bad luck. They have enormous fingernails and don’t really drink blood, they just kill you—some say they suck your life out, but whatever. They can’t detect you if you aren’t breathing, and those yellow slips of paper on their heads are Mao-Shan sect Taoist sutras that hold them in place, even make them obey, if the corpse isn’t too strong-willed.
            Anyway, this project has bubbled in my head for years, and for right now I’m doing it as a prose version, but somewhere in my dreams, Film Workshop is already shooting. Maybe I owe them a treatment. Hell, I *know* I do.
            In any event, here are the two halves I have right now. One has been posted, in part, before.
            These are long. I find myself not giving a shit.

 That's Part One. This is Part Two.

( Stupid Pagans and Their Stupid Arrrrrggghh!!! )

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Current Music: “Syndir Guðs (Live)” – Sigur Ros
Last Book I Read a Page of: The Third Policeman, Flan O’Brian
Last Movie: Serenity (2005, USA, Science Fiction)
Next Movie: Sansho the Bailiff (1956, Japan, Historical Drama)