Touch me. Touch me like you didn't touch me last night.

Okay, I've got a stack of content for you and was gonna have some this morning but was a little beat after spending three-and-a-half hours at El Toro Restaurant last night.

As such, we're turning to fixer  for today's moral dilemna:

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"So if I were to waterboard someone...would it be simply assault/battery? I mean it can't be considered attempted murder cause that would infer torture.

Unless we have fallen so far as a country that some laws are only active when the citizens act as opposed to those employed by the government. Wait, we have. But would that apply here?

What charges would be filed against me if I decided consciously to waterboard someone I caught breaking into my home, to find out why they were there, and who sent them?"

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I encourage you to read the cultural history of waterboarding, too.

As always when we discuss things like this, insulting or degrading comments will be frozen or deleted.

I have too much hair. In 45 minutes, Mike "Captain Hairdo" Steen will fix this.

Photographic evidence follows.

EXHIBIT A: In which only a disgusting amount of product can keep my hair aloft:



Exhibit B: Look at all that hair on the back of my head. It makes wings sometimes:



Exhibit C: Why I'm not kidding when I say that only spiky hair looks good on me:



ADDENDUM: I'm all but certain that I'm going to dye my hair this spring.

Pros? Cons? Colors? Styles?

DISCUSS.