No, Nina, it's not "roundworms with dead beetles over puke."

[benchilada]

I did a bad, bad thing...

See, it was all fine. Delightful, in fact. My little Meant-To-Shop-For-Groceries-Yesterday meal seemed like it was going to be delicious.

The chinese flat noodles had boiled and were being lightly sauteed with minced onion. Onto them I was ready to dump some ferociously scrambled eggs--with a bit of Cock Sauce and dijon mustard in 'em--and I had my heated can of beans all set, ready for me to extract legumes to deposit into the frying pan, in the...umm...interest of science?

HINT: Use a heavily slotted spoon to properly transfer beans from a saucepan to a sautee pan full of delicious food.

PROTIP: Do not use anything that could possibly transfer between 1/8 and 1/4 of a cup of hot bean juice into your meal.



The eggs lost their structural integrity faster than a drunken Enterprise at a party full of frat-Borg.

The noodles said "How about we just slide this wonderful egg coating off of us. Into a crumbly mound. Of greyish-brown things. Also, up yours."

The onions said "Marghaal blarghllll--" as they drowned in the filth of my meal.

TRUE FACT: It tasted like my butt.

"Oh, so you've tasted your butt?" I hear your inner 5th grader asking.

Yes.

Yes I have.

MORAL: Whiskey with meal, not while cooking it. And before cooking it. And for lunch.

Love,

benjamin