benchilada | Help me, dear readers...

HELP ME FIND A NEW LAPTOP.

TODAY.

BOUGHT ONE.

Apparently today is "Cyber-Monday," which means that there are great deals on computers all over the place online today.

What I'm looking for:

*** MINIMUM OF 3 gig of RAM (would love 4)
*** MINIMUM of 200 gig hard drive (would love 250+)
*** MINIMUM of 14 inch widescreen (would love 15+)
*** INTEGRATED webcam
*** HDMI slot
*** FINANCING WITH A LOW PERCENTAGE RATE WOULD BE PERFECT (buying a new HDTV two months ago beat up my credit card)
*** Not an Apple
*** IN A PERFECT WORLD IT WILL BE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 500 AND 650 DOLLARS.

Comment or e-mail moxy att tmbg dott org if you find something awesome.

Bastard, my lovely laptop, is now three years and four months old.
He enjoys having Sara drinking Maneschevitz straight from the bottle as his desktop, though.

I love him, but he's sad and...well, he sometimes needs a respirator:

His volume-down button has broken inwards, the DVD drive needs Percussive Assistance to open, and the speakers have gone staticky.

His exterior still strikes fear in some things and some other things...

It's time for...it's time for Bastard to rest, quietly, at home and be the anchor of my home computing while the new whippersnapper busts its ass.

Help me out, computer people who understand "Cyber Monday".

You're my only hope. [/hyperbole]

Ta,

benjamin