(no subject)

Geek Sex

Do you call your vibrator the oscillation overthruster?

Have you ever called your dick “Ted Sallis?”

Do you tell people you’re “ bigger on the inside?”

Do you think of yourself as Special Agent Dale Cooper every time you explore twin peaks?

When you tell your partner you want to embrace them do they cover their neck?

If you scream “Tetsuo!” during lovemaking will your partner immediately shout “Kaneda!”?

Have you ever asked to violate somebody's neutral zone, or tear a hole in their space-time continuum?

If so, then I love you more than you know.

b

(no subject)

I'M EVEN TIRED OF HEARING PEOPLE SAY THEY'RE TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON.

INDEED, I'M SO TIRED OF IT THAT AS SOON AS I CLICK THE "Post to benchilada" BUTTON I'M GOING TO PUNCH MYSELF IN THE FACE.

No, a video of that event will not be made available on YouTube, but I might post the one of me urinating on cnn.com for listing "Apollo Theatre honors Michael Jackson" as a "Live Developing Story" in a big red box at the top of their front page.

If you need me I'll be over in my hermit cave, killing small rodents with rocks and bitching about how back in my day we didn't have iPods and had to make do with a Walkman knockoff.

b
Who thinks that iPod is only marginally less stupid-sounding than Walkman