That's right, it's...

AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION TIME!!!

So, most of you are familiar with my So You Don't Have To feature. There haven't been any lately due to some scheduling stuff and some lack-of-time stuff. It'll be back within the next few weeks, I hope.

In the mean time, it's time to start AYAHT, the named-by-Joe-Futrelle feature we call...

AND YOU ALSO HAVE TO!

That's right, I'm branching out into realms of things that you can--and WILL--do to show that you've got what it takes. It will likely not be anything like skydiving, but I'll try to make each one at least slightly accessible to some of you. There will never be warning about what it is going to be.

I'll present a task--having done it myself, first, and posted photos--and it'll be up to you to do the same sort of thing.

For example, this inaugural one is EASY.
 

TOUCH SOMETHING GROSS. PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

I suppose that if you have no photos of the time you had to pull a placenta out of a storm grate, then we'll accept a COMPLETE STORY, but beyond that...

AND NOW WE BEGIN!

I was not grossed out by these first three things, but the last one did me in. I know people, though, who would have freaked out before they got to number four.

Holding, at the National Museum of Natural History...

A caterpillar:



A flightless Florida grasshopper:



And a Malaysian Madagascar (thanks, bayareajenn ) hissing cockroach:



I mean, hell, I used to pick the first two up all the time when I was growing up. Not being from Madagascar, the third not so much.

For ME, though, with my severe OCD, I decided to do this for you:



Followed by:



So you know, what I pulled out are eggshells, a used coffee filter, a pineapple top, and an empty bacon container.

And it was nasty to me.

So what time is it now, kids?

IT'S YOUR TURN.

I'll refer back to this entry for several days to come as you submit your own stuff. Again, pics are all-but-required.

Knowing you little bastards, we'll have a lesbian with a photo of her holding a cock, or a gay man all up in a vagina, so I DO NOT PROMISE THAT THE COMMENTS WILL BE SAFE FOR WORK.

Speaking of work, it's time for you to show off your madd skillz of not-being-grossed out or being grossed-out but getting through the ordeal.

NOW GET TO IT.

Love,

Your Internet Monkey King

Poly-ticks

Also Sprach filkertom :

"On the heels of teabagging, the Rachel Maddow vids from last week, and AmazonFail... we have something better.

Two Men For Marriage.

james_the_evil1 tells us all about it:"


Want to know more about how out-of-touch with popular culture conservative "activists" seem to be? Clickity Von Clickenstein.