Let me dust off my blogospheres...then put on some underwear...

I told you I'd be back.

Now put down that fucking soldering iron, you don't have any idea what you're doing.

A) Due to a combination of stress, medication, and general shittiness since the first of the year, I weigh more right now than I ever have. I'm fighting it and it sucks and I don't feel like myself and then I hear about how Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls just left her record label after she refused to let them cut shots of her "unmarketable" belly from a recent video,

B) Seriously, Japan, keep that motherfucking throttle WIDE-GODDAMNED-OPEN.

C) Went to Florida over Thanksgiving to see a Goodly Portion of my family. This was the first time this group had been together since Sara and I got married over four years ago.

I love that I have a family where, when one person says "Everybody put your arms across your chest like the carving on a sarcophagus" and everybody else thinks it's a perfectly sensible idea.

LEFT TO RIGHT:

Brother Jason, Stepfather Nathan, Mother Annet, Brother Nathan, Sister Kate (nee Ajay pre-nee Annet, Jr.), dumbheadface, Sara, Todd, partner of Brother Matthew.



D) You ever feel like this song? Which half?

E) What'd I miss?

Smooches,

benjamin

Help me, dear readers...

HELP ME FIND A NEW LAPTOP.

TODAY.

BOUGHT ONE.

Apparently today is "Cyber-Monday," which means that there are great deals on computers all over the place online today.

What I'm looking for:

*** MINIMUM OF 3 gig of RAM (would love 4)
*** MINIMUM of 200 gig hard drive (would love 250+)
*** MINIMUM of 14 inch widescreen (would love 15+)
*** INTEGRATED webcam
*** HDMI slot
*** FINANCING WITH A LOW PERCENTAGE RATE WOULD BE PERFECT (buying a new HDTV two months ago beat up my credit card)
*** Not an Apple
*** IN A PERFECT WORLD IT WILL BE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 500 AND 650 DOLLARS.

Comment or e-mail moxy att tmbg dott org if you find something awesome.

Bastard, my lovely laptop, is now three years and four months old.
He enjoys having Sara drinking Maneschevitz straight from the bottle as his desktop, though.



I love him, but he's sad and...well, he sometimes needs a respirator:



His volume-down button has broken inwards, the DVD drive needs Percussive Assistance to open, and the speakers have gone staticky.



His exterior still strikes fear in some things and some other things...



It's time for...it's time for Bastard to rest, quietly, at home and be the anchor of my home computing while the new whippersnapper busts its ass.

Help me out, computer people who understand "Cyber Monday".

You're my only hope. [/hyperbole]

Ta,

benjamin

If you were me--and that would be very weird...

Bought a different one.

Would you buy this laptop?

Cause it's looking good to me, especially if I get a Circuit City an Office Depot credit card.
We keep our credit card balances very, very low, and 0% or low financing from them would rock.
Hell, I'm not sure when I'd ever use the card again.

b

I see you shiver, with antici...

Oh you will not BELIEVE what I have for you tomorrow.

TWO things.
Two COOL things.
ONE entry.

I mean, there may be another entry, but that one is gonna have two things.

Yep. More than one, less than three.

TWO.

Smooches,

benjamin
Shittiest content tease in the world