benchilada | Dracula and Taoist Priests!!! (Reply)

You know, I always wanted to see a crazy Taoist priest (c.f. Mr. Vampire) fight Dracula, while Abraham Van Helsing had to battle disgusting hopping corpses.
EDIT: Most of this has been clipped for possible publication, but feel free to enjoy whatever excerpts I may have left behind.

Brother Chan Wei’s lightfoot kung-fu took him to the top of the stone stairway in three weightless steps. Even though he was the fastest of all the Shaolin monks, he could still hear his pursuer directly behind him when he reached the landing. Dipping his torso forward, he pivoted on the ball of his left foot and swung his right leg in a high arc, spinning to catch his opponent directly in the side of the head.

Wei watched as his foot passed straight through the white man’s head, which stirred briefly, as though made of smoke. A pale hand shot up with almost imperceptible speed and grabbed the monk’s ankle. Hopelessly off-balance, Wei felt himself being lifted off the stones and effortlessly cast to the side. He grabbed the railing of the balcony and pulled himself back to his feet as his assailant took to the air in a flying kick. He looks so elegant, Wei had a moment to reflect, in his impeccable black suit and his velvet-lined cape

Wei felt the man’s foot brush his cheek as he leapt to the side and into the hallway. He recovered quickly and unleashed a barrage of mantis strikes to the man’s vital points, but to no avail. Instead, the man simply dropped into a horse stance, grabbed Wei’s wrist and cast him over the balcony. He twisted in midair but was unable to completely recover before he smashed into the ground, where he felt his left arm shatter on impact.

The white man walked to the center of the balcony and looked down at his foe, obviously pleased with his own performance.

“You see, monk,” he said, his Romanian accent dripping off of every word, “I have not hidden in this country for sixty years vithout learning a few new tricks,”

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“Old Priest,” he replied in Cantonese as he rubbed the burn on his forehead, “your pagan ways cannot undo my power.”

“Come, then, Count," answered Chi as his lightfoot steps sped him forward, "and we shall see.”

benjamin sTone
Current Music: "Qingzang Plateau" by some Chinese folk singer
Current Book: FOX VOLANT OF THE SNOWY MOUNTAIN by Louis "Jin Yong" Cha