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INTRO: What is this STRANGE NEW PLACE?! [sticky post]

WELCOME TO BENCHILADALAND!

This is going to be a sticky post at the top of my LJ, giving people some content info.

Regular features that people seem to enjoy:

• Fuckbrain Comix shows you, with my special kind of "art," the inside of my brainmeats: Tourette's Syndrome, OCD, Bipolar Disorder, and maybe one or two others. Maybe you'll learn something.

• People are happy because I eat strange foods So You Don't Have To.

• Things I Can't /Draw is exactly what it says on the tin, from Inappropriate Comix to Hero / Villain-~~A-Day~~ Every-Few-Months to the aformentioned Fuckbrain Comix.

• The Continuing Adventures of Sir Reginald are here, from my original stories to loads of art and comic adaptations by awesome people.

• The Truth will emerge, about your sexuality, drugs, kinks and fetishes, crushes, the parallel universe you, and that memory you'll never lose. Anonymous commenting with no IP logging is enabled for these entries.

• Toys in the Bookstacks is me having fauxmetti fun with my 3.4 billion toys and the library where I work.

• Five Questions are what I want from you. Maybe I'll even answer them someday.

• Audience partipation is strongly encouraged.

• Photos Of My Life may also be requested.

I think other stuff happens, too.

Photos pre-April 2008 might be broken due to a Flickr fuck-up. I'm slowly fixing it.

Facebook / Flickr / Last.fm / YouTube / Delicious / Twitter / LibraryThing

Enjoy your stay and tell your fucking friends.

Love,

benjamin
Your Internet Monkey King

PS - What the hell just came out of my ass?

Funky formatting and Snapchatting

Why the deuce is the formatting on my LJ jacked-up if you look at just my feed?

Give it a look, tell me if it's doing it for you, and then somebody fucking help because I'm stuck.

UNRELATED:

I'm on Snapchat. I send one at LEAST once a day.

I adore the ephemeral nature of seing glimpses of my friends' lives and surroundings and faces.

So scan this, tell me who you are when you add me, and brace yourself for a complete lack of dick pics.

Entry tags:

uncategorized

More drawings. And questions. And your mom. Maybe.

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

QUESTION:

Who out there actually knows what a reasonable commission cost would be? My art may not be fancy-as-fuck, but it’s still worth more than a plugged nickel. I have no idea why I said that.

Anyroad, it’s about time I start selling some, and working in larger formats. I figure somebody out there would “enjoy” having some of my “art.” Especially my larger art, although my small stuff I’d sell for a few bucks.

Any input–here, on FB, or via email–would be greatly appreciated.

Here, have some strange art, the eyestrich and…fuck if I know.

Love,

benjamin

BONUS: What happened when I put the eyestrich through Paint.net’s auto-correction:

Entry tags:

I forgot that I drew this comic

It's been 24 hours and David Bowie is still dead.

Fuck that.

Major Tom to Ground Control - "The moon isn't actually that far away."

Entry tags:

Asking me to draw animals is dangerous

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

I was talking to Nadja about how hard it is to get back into a groove of doing art, and she told me to draw a peacock.

I asked if it should be me trying to draw from photo reference or my usual “what does a peacock look like in my head” method?

We decided that I should do the latter and then the former.

After I did the latter, we decided that perhaps the former was a bad idea.

I’d explain why he has a mouth, but…non, je ne regrette rien.

Love,

benjamin

Entry tags:

uncategorized

My brother Matthew remembers things that I don’t.

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Many years ago I wrote this story.
My brother Matthew reminded me that I wrote it and a few others.

I need to write more.

I’m not certain what to do with it. You see, in one of the boxes that my grandfather left behind was a strange gun, rounded and very rusty. It weighs several pounds and has knobs and dials along the side. If you put your ear against it, you can hear it quietly humming, and on its side is a dark and cracking piece of masking tape, upon which is written “Disintegrator Gun: still dangerous.”

My grandfather worked in a granary since the day he turned twelve and didn’t learn to read until his was forty-five. According to my mother, he’d never been able to change a lightbulb without blowing a fuse. He couldn’t have invented this, it’s too complex to be a toy, and it seems unlikely that a man who spent most of his life hip-deep in feed corn would have ever been in a situation to stumble upon something like this.

So where did it come from? I don’t know, but it’s sitting on my desk now. Every time I bring it close to my laptop, the LCD starts flowing and the fans start spinning faster. My cat’s hair stands on end when she gets too close. I set it next to a fountain pen which promptly started leaking ink out of its tip. If I hold it near my head, my fillings ache.

If I hold it in my hand, I feel like the most powerful man in the world.

It’s like a little boy’s dream come true, but I can’t bring myself to so much as touch the trigger. I thought of testing it in on a rock in the back yard, but what if it’s got a really wide beam, or punches a hole in the ground the size of an SUV? What if it explodes in my hand? What if it does nothing?

So for now it sits on my desk, all but begging me to pick it up.

“Be a superhero,” it whispers.

“Be a villain,” it suggests.

“Be whatever you want, so long as you use me to do it.”

I know that I’ll break down soon. I’ll use it on a tree or a wall, a car or a criminal, on a bank or on myself. But I’ll use it.

And I’ll never stop.

—

Entry tags:

uncategorized

Sketchpad meanderings

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Less than a month since last time! I’m doing better with my art.

I’m excited about a slow-build of new energy, but am still stuck on the format for two of my comics–one Fuckbrain Comix, one about something else–but it’s time for me to say screw it and just start.

In the mean time, please look at the sort of things I draw when I’m trying to “brainstorm” or “just draw shit.”

Anyways, here’s one, and four more behind the jump.

CLICK BELOW FOR THE REST:

Read the rest of this entry »

Entry tags:

art,
benchilada

Totally forgot I have a website – Have some art

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

It’s only been 8 months, so I guess it’s not that bad. 😐

Still going over on FB, and I’ve been stuck-as-fuck on my art, but how about this thing I made while in a bout of insomnia. I had some whiskey to keep me company.

These are all true…probably.

As always, click to embiggen for the I DRAW TOO SMALL bits.

Love,

benjamin

Entry tags:

Still busy; have some more dick joke art

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Between protesting Governor Rauner’s “right to work” bullshit–he’s at the I-Hotel today, so a hoard of people are going over to shout at him–and protesting Tasers, and going to City Council meetings–congrats, Aaron!–and volunteering at the Champaign County Humane Society, and helping more at home as Nadja makes Carnivale Debauche costumes and…look, we been busy.

I have no larger project right now, so have some more dick jokes.

Love,
benjamin

Entry tags:

art,
busy,
cock,
comix,
crotch rocket,
dick,
dick jokes,
inappropriate comix,
penis,
there are a lot of penis-related tags he

Here, have a weird dick joke

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

I’ve been busy, but I drew you something anyway.

If you’re “lucky,” there’ll be more on Thursday!

Entry tags:

Bus-holes, and how Craigslist Clan still rocks the world.

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Craigslist has come through for us before, and it has come through for us again.

I had this AIWA turntable to get rid of, since I need one with a USB jack:

Nadja and I are big fans of the barter system, and a gentleman offered two pieces of art:

They are, from left to right “Clever Worms Hiding in the Grass” and “Use Wisely But With Coconut.”

We thought that wasn’t a balanced deal, so Nadja threw in some of her pear ginger jam, which is fucking obscenely delicious.The fellow’s name is Shane Rodems; I love his stuff, and recommend his works very highly. They’re even cheap! Go buy something!

Nadja and I ride the bus a lot, even now that we have a car. After all, the CUMTD got us to the show on time, and their app garage means that you can pick from many programs to keep track of your bus via live GPS.

Now that The Wizard’s Lesson is completely finished, it’s time to move on to some one-shots before trying another large project.

We see plenty of different jackasses while riding, so I figure I’ll do a few
comics about the matters. Please to enjoy:

Bus-Holes Douchebagging
There will be more appearances from bus-holes, I promise. Twenty years of riding really builds up your knowledge of jackasses.

That’s it for now.Don’t forget that this comic leaves copyright on January 22, 2015.

Love,

benjamin

Entry tags:

The Wizard’s Lesson, complete at last!

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Here it is. Here’s The Wizard’s Lesson in its entirety.

I got it done in less than a year, but I wish I’d gotten it done faster. As time goes by my productivity increases, so my next projects should go faster.

You’ll see them soon enough. This post is about this comic right here.

As always, click to EMBIGGEN:

WANT MORE? CLICK RIGHT HERE:

Do please enjoy the rest of The Wizard's Lesson

Entry tags:

New Art: In which our protagonist gets chewed-out by The Wizard

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Sometimes I worry that I’ve been listening to too much Goon Show [autoplay warning] and general British radio comedy. Then I remember what the Tick had to say about moderation:

“Always remember: less is less, more is more. More is better, and twice as much is good too. Not enough is bad, and too much is never enough except when it’s just about right.”

After I finish this folk tale comic, expect more one-shots and proper blog posts, some of which may not even have art! GASP! I’ve got a new camera–an Olympus XZ-2 that Nadja found for about 60% off–so I’ll be doing photos again as well.

Anyroad, here’s a nice splash page to click on and make huge and be all WHOA YOU FUCKED UP TZU CH’UN and next week? The whole thing rolls up and finishes, and then…the lesson?

Well. Glad he sorted THAT out for us.

Love,

benjamin

Entry tags:

New Art: In which the Wizard’s Lesson jumps the rails

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Let’s just chat for a second before we get into today’s comic, the heaviest one in the whole thing. After this we only have a few more days of postings left.

Anyroad, there’s a chance that BIG HERO 6 is still playing in a theater near you.

Go goddamned see it.

Seriously, the movie is ridiculously good, and the trailer doesn’t in any way express its complexities.

If you don’t like it, I’ll…dunno, maybe I’ll do something for you. And then I’ll tick the box next to your name that says “COLD AND EMOTIONLESS.”

In related news, my latest bad movie watching was Gor. Oddly, I could only find a Spanish-language trailer for it.

If you’re not familiar with the world of Gor…well, it’s not entirely pleasant. I’d say more on it, but I’ve refused to ever read any book in the series.

The movie managed to be both offensive and inoffensive. It’s was mostly a standard 80’s sword-and-sorcery film, but with a lot more women tied up and treated like objects than one would expect. And hair. My god, Gor invented hairspray but not hairstyling.

RIGHT! On to the most troubling bit of The Wizard’s Lesson. After this, it’s only a tiny bit more to wrap things up, then on to our discussion about the lesson.

As always, click the pic to embiggen.

First, the last installment I posted:

And now…

So that happened.

Love,

benjamin

Entry tags:

Massive Crossover Potential: Toys in the Bookstacks

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

No art for the week of Christmas. Perhaps you’ll get ALL of the remaining Wizard’s Lesson next week. I’m gonna be finishing it up during my days off.

I did you up a nice Toys in the Bookstacks. Please enjoy.

Love,

benjamin

Entry tags:

The Wizard’s Lesson: Babies change things

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

A chill page this week, but perhaps a bit ominous. I think it will take about three more postings to finish this bad boy off.

On the last day, I’ll give you a huge post with everything to date.

For now, please to enjoy wedded bliss:

Love,

benjamin

Entry tags:

art,
chinese

The Wizard’s Lesson has a pretty lady this week

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

It doesn’t matter much, though, since my ability to draw pretty ladies extends about as far as I can flick a boulder. I make do with “visual cues.” *koff*

Need a RECAP?
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Take Him To The Pit!
Eight Hells
Reincarnation

As always, click the pic to embiggen.

I’ve also included my latest Artisan Pony, which is one of my more unfortunate ones. I intentionally started drawing from the back of the neck, which led to some, whatchamacallits…birth defects. Submissions always welcome, click the pony for details.

The Wizard’s Lesson has rounded the last curve and is entering the final straightaway, to use pony terminology. I figure that by the end of the next two weeks, it will be finished. I’ll make a post with the entirety of the work as the last entry for it.

Anybody have suggestions/requests on what to draw next, beyond my “Grammar Nazis” comic and “the benchilada tarot?”

Love,

benjamin

Entry tags:

chinese

The Wizard’s Lesson: Gender-Bender

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

I have nothing of even vague importance to say today, let alone about this page.

It’s just another step into the mad world of Tzu Ch’un and Asshole the Wizard.

Love,

benjamin

Entry tags:

8 Levels of Hell for poor Tzu Ch’un

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

S’up, kids?

I’m tired of waiting until the last minute to do the actual writy-bit of my entries, so I’m actually writing this the night before.

I haven’t been sticking to my Ten Minutes A Day rule with my art, justifying the many hours I spend on them anyway as being justified. This is bullshit, amirite*?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m having fun with the Artisan Pony Project and the fabulous guest artists that I’ve gotten so far, but I feel like I’ve been dropping-out of the one-page-funny comics, focusing perhaps too much on being Srs with my art. Starting again tonight, ten minutes every day.

I should also get back to a story or two that I was briefly working on. And the dishes. Nadja‘s sleeping, though, so I shouldn’t do the latter right now. Our bedroom and kitchen are only separated by a curtain.

We have been having preposterous amounts of fun lately, including the great success that was the Kung Fu and Kasseroles Party. Great friends, and casseroles and covered dishes were consumed in large quantities.

Here are trailers for the movies that ran all night:

Living Room TV:

The Magnificent Butcher (Sammo Hung at his best), The Tai Chi Master (A 90s Wire-Fu classic), 36th Chamber of Shaolin (Because Gordon Liu).

Laptop in Library:

Duel of the Tough twice (good fights, a film by Godfrey Ho) and The Holy Flame of the Martial World (a truly WUT film in so many ways).

Netbook Opposite the Toilet:

The Fearless Hyena on repeat (a personal favorite, my first Chan kung fu film).

Anyroad, welcome to the SECOND most bizarre part of The Wizard’s Lesson:

Need a RECAP?
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

As always, click to embiggen:

See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?

Love,

benjamin “greater-than-zero chance of current intoxication” sTone

* Apparently this word bugs some people. They can go screw.
** This comic leaves copyright on December 2, 2024

Entry tags:

art,
sketches

Ponies and the Tarot

Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Yeah, I’m a few days behind. I’ve been busy.

I’ve been having far too much fun already with my Artisan Ponies project on Tumblr. If you’ve been following my art for long, you know that animals are NOT my forte, but that somehow my horses always look…unique.

I’m starting the next Wizard’s Lesson tonight–a two page splash–and I’ll do my damnedest to have it up for Tuesday. For now, we have:

The Wizard’s Lesson Part One
Next Pages
The Next Page
The Lastest So Far

First VERY preliminary sketches for the Tarot deck I’m going to do have started. Don’t worry, I won’t be crossing any streams, and will finish The Wizard’s Lesson before continuing.

In other news, Nadja and I are working next week on our online sales model. We should have it up soon and you can buy terribly fun things from us.

For now, peace out motherfuckers.

Love,

benjamin