A malicious pudding in my lungs...

Totally sick.

Found trilobite in last glob of coughed-up snot and am expecting pope's ring in next batch.

Fever has decided that best place for my testicles is hanging down to my knees.

If you're a guy, you totally understand that last sentence.
If you're a gal, you probably threw up a little bit. Welcome to my world.

Why has everybody been getting so sick recently?

Anyway, I'm going to go fall asleep watching PBS Create.

b

MY WORDS ARE IMPORTANT TO YOU

Hope this isn't too many Twitters for you. If it is, the Sit and Spin is over in the corner.

• 20:34 I like pretending that every sentence President Obama says is actualy ended with "motherfuckers." #
• 20:36 @chanonista - The light of TRUTH?! Or just the general aura of our first PILF?! #
• 20:54 Watching our President talk makes me want to make out with my wife. Make of that what you will, 'cause I can't figure it out. #
• 20:56 OBAMA'S TAX TALK: We're finally going to tax the rich for once instead of giving them countless tax breaks and letting them sodomize us. #
• 22:33 Our cat fetches a black leather glove. I don't think that the novelty of this is going to ever wear off ever. #
• 22:33 @olliecrafoord - What, the not sodomy part or the taxes? #
• 08:08 Oh god I'm sick. I think I just coughed up a pen cap I shoved up my nose when I was three. #

Smooches,

b

Update!

Fever has not broken all day.

Sleep has been intermittent.

Testicles are now on pillow in basement.

Send wife home to perform last rites.

SEXY last rites.