Originally published at benchiladaland. You can comment here or there.

Drew a page of a new Fuckbrain Comix: OCD Edition for you last night, but was unable to get it scanned to release today. Two more pages of it to draw, as well as the next page or two of The Wizard’s Lesson. Weekend plans, then.

A combination of factors–persontimes, medication changes, and generalized stress–have been making my Tourette’s extra mean for a few days. I can feel the verbal outbursts just on the edge of expression, but thankfully they haven’t manifested yet.

 

My hip twitches–to blazes with them!–are increasing again, which often leads to this:

 

I’ve been having right leg issues, which once led me to have to walk like this for a year or two. I’m still not completely over what my friends affectionately call my Pimp Limp:

 

 

Now that I’ve rambled and bitched for a bit, I should let you know that my next blog entry will be better written. I’m adjusting how I approach this site again; not just art, but proper posts, too. I miss talking about things off of FB, and this allows me to connect with other people and discussions through my Twitter, Livejournal, et cetera,

We’ll see how that works out. :)

Love,

benjamin


Sample dialogue from Stone-Robot Enterprises:

"Baby, your Bellerophon is ringing."

"This recipe calls for one meejum grunyun and a half cup of meef."

Seriously, about every fourth sentence has a made-up, bullshit word. I am a far worse sinner than [livejournal.com profile] fairyarmadillo, though, when my Tourette's/OCD gets going....



Fuckbrain Cereals

Fast art about the perils of hip-twitching from Tourette's making food processing rather aggravating.

Fast art about the perils of Tourette's-induced Thundershits

Please excuse all the lines and things through this. It was my first time using Bristol board for a Fuckbrain Comix, and not only did I neglect to use a photo-negative blue pencil, but I also pressed too hard. After about 40 minutes of touch-ups on a VERY ugly scan, I decided that this will do.

Oh, and to show you how hard it is to draw when you can't draw:

This was a 9 x 13 sheet of Bristol board.

CONCEIVING / PENCILING - 2 hours
INKING - 2 hours
COLORING - 20 minutes
SCANNING / CROPPING - 20 minutes
DIGITAL TOUCH-UP - 40 minutes

So, from a blank sheet to this entry: 5 hours and 20 minutes.

Zounds.

Please to enjoy!

Fuckbrain Comix Number 3301

HOW THE FUCKING DICKASS SHITCOCKER DID I MISS THAT IT'S
TOURETTE SYNDROME AWARENESS MONTH?

What?

Oh, yeah, 'cause I never pay attention to that crap.

I blame The Fuckbrain.

Oh, and it seems that there were books about pimping even at the turn of the century. All about the Benjamins? Fuck that, he's...

Out for the Coin by Hugh McHugh aka George Vere Hobart - Book about pimping from 1903 except that I'm lying

By Hugh McHugh, nee George Vere Hobart.

Sorting out the schedules and doing a workable payroll for escorts  is certainly not the easiest job to have,

b

HEY! I MADE YOU A "ART"!


Links to the things mention in the comic are located beneath the, uh...the comic.

Fuckbrain Comix - Ow Ow Ow resized

Trust me, my pimp limp is very rarely this bad anymore. This was shot shortly after it started, when it was really forceful.



And here's the link to the voice post I made while having a really horrific night. If you listen you for it you can occasionally hear me hitting the back of head. :(

Smooches,

benjamin
So, about  two or three years ago my Tourette's decided to start making me walk funny. I had hoped it was a transient tic--one that I have for a while that eventually goes away--and not a resident tic. While it did eventually calm down from its original fucking bullshit, it's still with me.

I have a video somewhere of when it first started. Thought it was on YouTube, must just be on my laptop.
I'll try to take a video of what it looks like now, too, and post 'em some day.

Anyway, my coworker Matt calls it my pimp limp, which has prompted me to do the same.

This is the bottom of my left shoe, which really isn't affected by the way my right like rotates during the pimp limp:



This is the bottom of my right shoe, which IS affected by my pimp limp:



Fucking whee, right?

EDIT: YES I'M GETTING NEW SHOES. I have some Sketchers that fit my stupidly wide feet, I just haven't bought new canvas shoes yet. These lasted about three or four months.

Useless things I learned from [livejournal.com profile] bookmancu  today: hanyak is a Czech / Polish word for "rascals".

It's also a word used for meth, but what word HASN'T been used for that?

Oh, here's a poem.

It took thirty seconds to write.

It's called "Hipster"

---------

Hipster.
Hey, hipster.
Get away from me.
No, seriously.
Damn it, hipster.
Get away.
No.
Hipster, don't bring your fucking friends to this bar.
Motherfucker, what did I just say?
This bar is ours.
Hipster, you better listen to me.
Oh, you can't.
It's probably the pencils I just jammed it your ears.

God you're a douche.

---------

I'm going to try to beat my writer's block to death with whiskey this weekend. Wish me luck.

No matter what, I have some drawings for you next week and will finish my Super Explodo So You Don't Have To post for Monday.

Smooches,

b
New Cyanide and Happiness comic:

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
[personal profile] primavera introduced me to [profile] sinister_cat, which makes me larf.

Especially with this one.

With permission from [livejournal.com profile] tanukitsune:



It's a Tourette turret.

Larfs ensue. :)

Also, music:
Last night we ventured away from Southeast Asia food for our latest installment of SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO, into another strange country where English is not the native language.

Namely, Dollar General.



That kid looks...what's the politically correct term for "both inbred and stoned?"
And man, those white flecks shown in the art? I hope those aren't actually present.



What, I blurred-out the ingredients? Why would I do that? Also, that's a lot of sodium...that's 38% of your DV in one tiny can.



Inspected by Your Mom.

Okay, you're going to see some more Fuckbrain in this video, mainly Tourette's stuff. I've got some birdlike arm-lifting going on, some weird pauses while talking, some stuttering/misprounouncing, and times when I do things like unnecessarily smack my right hand against my hip.

Methinks my neurologist and I need to make some pill changes..

In any event...


Vaya con dingos.

b

Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] graycub, for pointing out this old Chopping Block comic to me:


Dear Monkeys,

I have a Fuckbrain Comix, but life decided it didn't really want me to have time to ink it this week. If I'm lucky, I'll have it up Monday morning. Also, everybody gets free donuts forever.

I'm also prepping some new Photos Of My Life and some other stuff.

In the mean time, here's today's quote:

"The doormat had already floated into the bedroom closet, accompanied by a rogue pizza box," - [personal profile] lafinjack

Also, here are slipmesomething's Five Questions:

---------

1. What is your favourite story (from your life or of those close to you) to tell to others.

Either the "Prince of France" story or the "Why You Better Pay Your Fucking Bill at Mykonos" story.

OH, you wanted the actual story? Well, I'll get on that.

I also love retelling myths to people, but it has to be seen/heard in person, as I kinda colloquialize them, and move around a lot, and swear.

"So Zeus is all, 'Shit, Acrisius, you think you can hide that fine piece o' ass you call your daughter in a box?' So then the motherfucker turns into a golden shower to get into the box. Yep. A golden shower. One that gets her pregnant. Yeah, I know, watersports aren't supposed to be able to do that, but it's Zeus, you know? Guy was so virile his shit probably impregnated his toilet."

2. Have you ever been in a situation and found yourself thinking "this is weird/surreal?." What was it? tell us the most bizarre.

I once had sex with Jackie Onassis, but it wasn't really my fault, and I was like, 13 or something, so I don't remember too well.

Instead let's go with...jeez, there are a lot to choose from. I'm shit at remembering most things in my life, but the most ridiculous things stick with me forever. I can even tell you, if you grab one, where I got a particular comic, or what I had for dinner that one night 9 years ago, but things like Where Am I and Are These My Pants? always elude me. I have loads of strange moments from my childhood, though, that I oddly remember. It's not the single most surreal, but it was odd and it gets bonus odd points for me even remembering it.

I was probably...dunno, five? six? when I went to Barbados with my mother, brothers, and aunt. I remember the exact song that a man was playing on a steel drum at one point. "Can we go down? Can we go down? Can we go down to Bridgetown Market?" I even remember the tune. I also remember walking barefoot on the massive, boulder-like chunks of coral at the beach...unless that was Bermuda, about five years later. But the part that's always stuck with me was that we were told to shuffle our feet when we were in the ocean in case there were stingrays. So I'm doing this, and from out of nowhere this guy scoops me up--I remember that he had a very hairy chest--and takes me a ways out into the ocean to show me a rock covered--COMPLETELY SWARMING--with all of these tiny little red crabs. It was fantastic and freaky and I didn't know who the guy was, and sure the rock was cool, but who the fuck are you?

I recently told my mother that I remembered this, and she was stunned that I could recall something from when I was so young. She said that she thinks the guy might have been somebody who was hitting on my aunt, I can't remember.

3. Who is your favourite "celebrity/idol/'famous person'" that you have met?

I wouldn't say he's my favorite, but Colin Baker did once pretend to choke me--hands around the neck and everything--when I was about ten. That probably wins as far as encounters go.

4. Are there any films that make you cry each time you view them?

Harold and Maude, Camille Claudel, The Crow, They Might Be Giants, Depardieu's Cyrano de Bergerac, El Norte, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Moulin Rouge, All About Lily Chou-Chou, Brokeback Mountain, Dodeskaden, Being There, Lovers of the Arctic Circle, All About My Mother, and hordes more...

Yep, I'm an enormous girl.

5. Have you ever purposefully sworn at someone then blamed it on your fuckbrain? Who was it?

Sadly, no. I've never really tried to blame anything on my Tourette's that wasn't because of my Tourette's. I have had to make people feel guilty about my Tourette's, though, like when people who haven't seen me in a while see my weird Tourette's leg thing and ask me why I'm walking like I'm crippled, or when people in theatres or buses or whatever ask me to stop moving around so much. That sort of thing.

---------

b
Right, it appears to me that I've chosen [personal profile] mamagaea 's Five Questions this time.
It appears that way because it's true.

1. How many toys do you own (actual number)?

I wish I had an exact number for you. :(
I'd put it at somewhere above 125 and under 250. There will be new shots of my new toy shelves soon, but those just hold the ones that I currently feel like making weird-ass diorama scenes out of. There are a bunch more upstairs in Rubbermaids.
Somebody remind me to do the office pics soon.

2. How many books do you own (actual number)?

So far tallied? THIS MANY. For the most fun, click on COVER VIEW and DISPLAY 100 per page. There are probably about fifty more that I haven't included for various reasons, usually lack of ISBN and lack of time to build the records from scratch.

3. What is the most awkward situation your Tourette's has ever landed you?

Good question.

The best one I can think of right now was during a college Shakespeare class. For our final project (the Professor believed in diversified teaching methods) we actually had to find partners and act out a scene from one of Shakey's plays. I think I was 18 or 19 at the time, and had only been diagnosed with Tourette's at age 17. As such, my medication was still being adjusted, and I wasn't on a particularly good one.

One very odd thing about TS is that everybody seems to have something that they can do just fine, even when their symptoms are bad. There are pro basketball players with it and even neurosurgeons. Some part of our brain manages to shut off the ticcing while we're doing that thing. One of those things, for me, is acting or public speaking, so I figured I'd be cool that night.

The event was held at a professor’s house, where he didn’t ask how old you were if you grabbed a beer. I’d had a bad day with Tourette’s all day but now it was beyond bad. I couldn’t speak to him or classmates, the words just wouldn’t come out. I couldn’t stop my hip spasms and my head was jerking back and to the right nonstop. I felt like the most ridiculous spastic ever. And for once, performing the scene only killed about half or two-thirds of my symptoms. And as soon as I was done? Back again.

 

Spent all semester looking forward to this night, and I couldn’t talk to people or even sit next to them for fear of making them uncomfortable.

4. What is the funniest situation your Tourette's has ever landed you?

It’s done a lot of things, but not many of them are traditional sort of funny. One of my favorites, though, is how Sara and I used to have an antique bread plate on our bathroom sink, and we put our bar of soap on it. I really dislike soap scum leftover stuff that you always get under a bar, so I decided to use some hot water to scrub the soap off.

Halfway through the washing my right hand decided that the best course of action would be to, sans warning, throw the plate like a Frisbee into the bathtub, where it broke into four pieces.

We left the four pieces on the sink to repair them later. A week after that, I knocked something out of the cabinet and it fell on the pieces, multiplying their total by about ten. Sara wouldn’t let me blame that one on Tourette’s. J

5. Tell me the story of Ben and Sara (how you met through the wedding)

In a weird way that only I would decide to do it...

 
Invited to the residence hall cafeteria by friend Clarissa to meet her friends Jennifer Keene and Sara Gorecki, then they asked me to come by their room a day or two later, then we talked for hours, then I realized that the cool Bohemian girl was the same girl that I’d always identified in the hallways as “The Girl With The Hats Who’s Always Smiling,” then we did some more hanging out, then I wouldn’t do anything too heavy with her because she was drunk on Blackberry Schnapps, and she got me to smoke cloves, which led me to smoke regular cigarettes, but I didn't care, and then she came and visited me over the summer in a house with no air conditioning during a VERY hot summer and we had one of those kinda-mostly-break-up things but when we realized that we were talking to each other on the phone for so long that she'd start falling asleep but not wanting to hang up it was cool and we totally got together again, then I stayed in the residence hall but she moved into an apartment with Clarissa and friend Jaime and then I stayed there mostly with her and cleaned their dishes and I stayed up late with her while she did her art projects and oh I forgot that our first date was seeing BRAIN CANDY in the now-gone Co-Ed Theatre, and that I asked her if I could kiss her after we watched WILLY WONKA on the dorm bed, so then I sublet her apartment from her over the summer, and then we moved into an apartment with Clarissa, and we were in the same bedroom because we’re sinners, and then she got me a cat called Isis and the cat had been taken away from her mother at about 2 weeks, maybe less, and then shut in a closet a lot by her first owner’s roommates, so she grew up a bit weird, and Sara didn't like cats, so she said she wouldn’t clean up after cat, or feed cat, or play with cat, and that night cat fell asleep on Sara’s lap, and we could barely connect to the internet in that apartment, because it was about 1997, and I hung around places like alt.music.nin and rec.arts.drwho and we did more art and we had barbecues, and then I graduated and Sara didn’t yet because she was a year behind me and we lived in a shotgun apartment and realized that we had a lot of stuff, and there were roaches there but they mostly went away eventually, and it was the second place in a row where the original boiler in the building broke and it was so freaking cold, but then we moved into a cool house that had been divided into apartments, and we even fixed it up a bit, and Sara hand-painted the kitchen tile with a way cooler pattern because she’s such a kickass artist, and our bedroom had no insulation, so there was a lot of body heat stuff going on, and we were there for three years, and two of our neighbors in the building got married after meeting each other there and now they have a child and we became friends with Jay, aka the basement troll, and then after three years we decided that we’d go and do something stupid, like buy a house, because we’d already been together for so long, and we’d bought a car, and so we totally bought the cutest house ever and it turns out that there was more work needed on it than we thought, but we don’t care, and then we totally got married and I love the hell out of her  and it's been eleven years together and she’s the best thing since sliced…hell, since slicing was invented.

 *gasp*

Got your own questions? Ask.

b
Hand won't stop shaking, tightening, twitching.
Foot won't stop tensing and releasing.
Head won't stop nodding, twitching.
Can't walk without stumbling.
For the first time in ages, I'm actually having to hold in vocal tics. Don't think it will work for long.

It's hard to stop thinking of yourself as a broken spastic when you can't stop acting like a broken spastic.

In summation? Time for...


 
Also: FUCK!

benjamin
Met with my neurologist yesterday, gonna stop taking Requip.
It takes care of some of the little symptoms of my Tourette's that Klonopin doesn't, but it's not worth this side-effect...

"You should be careful until you know if Requip affects your ability to remain alert while doing normal daily activities, and you should watch for the development of significant daytime sleepiness or episodes of falling asleep. It is possible that you could fall asleep while doing normal activities such as driving a car, doing physical tasks, or using hazardous machinery while taking Requip. Your chances of falling asleep while doing normal activities while taking Requip are greater if you are taking other medicines that cause drowsiness."

Fuckers. No more nodding off at work IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING ON THE COMPUTER. No more STOPPING THE CAR AND WALKING AROUND EVERY THIRTY MINUTES TO MAKE SURE I DON'T FALL ASLEEP AND DIE.
Oh, and they also fail to mention another side-effect that my doctor told me.

HIM: (After weighing me) So, have you seen a significant weight gain since you started taking Requip?
ME: Uh...yeah, I guess I have.

Turns out that it can not only cause weight gain but simultaneously affect your body's ability to LOSE any weight.

...

I suddenly feel slightly better about myself.

January 2016

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